Fortune Friday: "Listen these next few days to your friends to get answers you seek."

Western society—particularly the United States—has long elevated the status of the so-called self-made man. The idea of the lone ranger combing the fertile plains of opportunity, is a long-held and highly-valued myth; as if to say a person is somehow better for having succeeded without help from anyone.

Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you really dig deep you will find that nothing of consequence in the history of mankind was created alone.

Sure, the idea of the maverick sounds appealing, but logistically it isn't feasible. Our world is too full of interconnecting parts to make a solely solitary endeavor possible.

Everyone depends on everyone. It takes a village, literally.

One of our most valuable sources of assistance is our circle of friends. But friends can be a blessing or a curse.

Good and true friends will encourage you to greatness. They will lift you and hold you to a higher standard. They will often draw out of you what you yourself cannot see. These types of friends can help make all the difference in whether you succeed or fail.

However, bad and weak-minded friends can spell your doom. They will tear you down and mire you in mediocrity. They will seek to ease their guilt or lack of ambition by discouraging you. After all, misery loves company.

Your friends can be a priceless source of inspiration, input, suggestions, or answers to difficult questions. So choose the best friends you can. And if your current friends drain your energy with their constant pessimism or apathy, consider finding new friends.

As Joshua Fields Millburn says, "You can't change the people around you, but you can change the people around you."

To your good fortune!

Confusing Worth With Value

Personal net worth is a common measuring stick for success—or at least how the world typically defines it. And people associate themselves (and their esteem) in parallel with these numbers.

In fact, when people are considering a job position, they often weigh it in terms of what they think they're worth. "I can't believe those jerks only offered me $50,000 per year. I'm worth twice that!"

Sad, but true.

And completely false. Not to mention completely irrelevant.

Worth has nothing to do with it.

Every single person—at the core level—has infinite personal worth. We're not worth millions or even billions. Our worth as individuals is infinite, priceless.

Value, on the other hand, is a different story altogether. Value—the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or usefulness of something—is what we create and share with the world.

When we create and share something that is important or useful to someone, that thing has value. If it solves a problem or resolves an issue a business or individual is facing, it most likely can be exchanged for money.

Renowned British author, speaker, and investor, Richard Koch said:

"Every company is a set of answers to a set of questions, or often, at a more fundamental level, a single answer to a single question."

Substitute 'person' for 'company' and it is easy to analyze how we can increase our value in the marketplace. Simply ask yourself what question(s) your particular skill set is answering. What problems can you fix for others?

Can I increase my ability to answer greater questions (i.e. find solutions to bigger problems) and thereby reap greater rewards? 

Remember, your worth is infinite but your value can be measured.

Fortune Friday: "Perhaps you've been focusing too much on that one thing."

In business, particularly creative freelancing, we are advised to focus. Specialize, pick a niche. Develop your signature look or style. Zero in on your goals and pursue them with laser-like gusto. And it makes good sense. Since we can't possibly please everyone we are better off delighting those who respond to our work.

But too much focus can turn into blinders. Racehorses are fitted with blinders to block their peripheral vision. By eliminating distractions, they are free to channel their attention down the track and ultimately the finish line.

In the context of a closed track, this kind of focus is beneficial.

But in the real world where we are presented with thousands of potential opportunities, this kind of focus can be harmful.

I was once presented with an incredible career opportunity. It was a leadership position with bigger responsibilities and an even bigger paycheck. A real career changer.

It was the big break I had always hoped for, and when they offered it to me I was all in. Like 300% all in. I was committed to the long hours and the added pressures. I was even ready to relocate if asked.

I was totally focused.

And then came delays. Weeks turning into months. Trying to raise capital. Meetings and proposals and phone calls with investors. And a mountain of emails.

But still more delays. Always the well-intended promise of "We're almost there" and "The bankers say two more weeks."

Yet I remained focused.

And I waited. And I waited some more. And some more. A whole year went by. I ignored and passed on other opportunities, ever hopeful this new position would materialize.

But then, I started getting frustrated—and so did my wife. And my friends grew weary of my explanations. I began to feel foolish and berated myself for not taking a stand sooner. I had so wanted this deal to work out that I couldn't see the blinders I had on. I had blocked my peripheral vision. I had closed myself off.

For eighteen long months.

Finally, I took the blinders off. The opportunity cost of continuing to wait had grown too large. And it was cankering my soul. I gave them my notice and walked away.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from off my shoulders and it is was lesson I will not soon forget: Perhaps I had been focusing too much on that one thing.

To your good fortune!

How To Discover Your Life's Purpose In 2 Minutes

Photo by Drew Geraets

By the time you finish this very short article, you will know your life's purpose. Trust me, I'm serious.

There is a lot of confusing talk going around about one's life purpose and where and how to discover it. And there is good reason for this confusion. People are confusing our purpose in life with our mission in life. That may sound like the same thing, but the two are very different. But I will save the life's mission discussion for another time.

Do you really want to know your life's purpose? I'm happy to share it with you. It's really quite simple—because it is the same for everyone.

The purpose of life is to become the best possible version of you that you can.

That's it.

You see, each one of us is unique, different. We have different talents, skills, likes, dislikes. We come from different ideologies, cultures, and geographic locations. We come from big families, small families, and even no families. Combine these variables together and we each—yes, every single person—has a unique contribution or gift to share with the world.

That gift is us. Ourselves. And we should give others the nicest gift we can. Which means developing all aspects of ourselves to their pinnacle. To do otherwise courts misery.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow said, "If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life."

Chances are, if you are feeling unhappy or apathetic, it is because you have settled into a comfortable routine that is not challenging you to grow. You are drifting directionless through your life like a boat without a rudder.

Rise up. Grab the helm and take charge. And as the U.S. Army likes to say, "Be all that you can be."   

Fortune Friday: "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

Last evening, me and my wife attended the awards night for our son's high school football team. While it was wonderful to hear about the team's successful season and the numerous school records broken by several parting senior varsity players, what struck me most was a recurring theme of personal excellence.

And within that theme a phrase was repeated multiple times. Several players and coaches were described as "a man built for others."

A Man Built for Others.

This phrase is the cornerstone of their entire football program. Not simply to develop outstanding athletes and win games—though important—but to turn young boys into contributing, successful men who can influence their communities for good.

To teach them to look beyond themselves. To serve. To be worthwhile.

Worthwhile is defined as worth the time, money, or effort spent; of value or importance.

My son's football program, as well as my son, have invested a great deal of time and effort (and money) into improving the players individually and the team collectively.

But all of that will mean precious little if they focus inward and simply "look out for number one" or try to just "get theirs."

True victory in life is found in seeing past ones' self and ones' problems and instead looking to lift and help others.

To your good fortune!

Curate Your Life

Every museum, as well as major galleries and auction houses, employs a curator to act as custodian of its collections. In addition to cataloging and maintaining existing items, the best curators actively seek out and acquire pieces to augment and improve the overall quality—not to mention monetary value—of the collection.

While value and worth can be subjective, a desirable piece is typically curated for the following reasons:

1. Inherent value. The piece itself, due to its materials (e.g. gold, precious stones, etc.), has monetary value.

2. Significance. The piece is of importance culturally, historically, or geographically.

3. Variety or focus. The piece expands or narrows the scope of the existing collection.

4. Representative. The piece marks a certain era, movement, or trend.

If a desired piece meets these criteria and is within the curator's budget, a purchase is eminent.

Our lives, much like a beautiful museum collection, can be curated. Not by mere acquisition of material items, but by intentional, purposeful selection. In other words, we can build or construct an extraordinary life.

Like the curator, we do it by pursuing things that are valuable and important to us, while simultaneously editing, removing, or replacing what no longer serves us.

For example, we can cultivate wonderful relationships and combine them with memorable experiences—like a walk in the park at sunset. Then add in meaningful work, service, and contribution. And top it off with personal growth and physical vitality. The end result is an amazing, fulfilled life.

And unlike a museum collection, none of these things have to cost a dime.

A great life doesn't just happen. But it can be curated.

Fortune Friday: "You are the mast of every situation"

My guess is this fortune was supposed to say, "You are the master of every situation." Must have been a harried day at the fortune writing shop, given this fortune was also lacking any punctuation.

But as always, I sat with it for a little while and decided this fortune is quite meaningful.

In nautical terms, the mast is the tall upright post or spar on a sailing vessel that supports the sails. It is the primary source of the boat's propulsion. Without a mast to hold up the sails—thereby catching the wind—a ship is "dead in the water."

As we are presented with opportunities or trials, we too become the mast. We decide whether we will metaphorically supports sails of joy or of misery. We get to choose if we will catch the prevailing winds of negativity and pessimism and sail on to the shores of apathy and woe, or turnabout and harness those winds and chart a new course towards a brighter horizon.

We are the mast. We get to choose. But only always.

To your good fortune!

Don't Ask For What You Can't Take

The title of this article comes from a line of dialogue in a cheesy martial arts action movie I watched in my youth. I can't remember the name of the film, or who starred in it, but I remember an Italian mobster villain saying it: "Don't ask for what you can't take."

And for some reason it has stuck with me all these years. Probably because on a core level it is true.

But we try to pretend it isn't.

Instead, we'd prefer to believe somewhere, somehow that someone or something is going to come save us. To come to our rescue and make everything in life okay and comfortable and easy. To give us our dream job or ideal partner or whatever it is we want most.

This is a lie. And we know it.

Real life can be messy and hard and uncomfortable, with many ups and as many—or more—downs. It is a mental, emotional, and physically exhausting rollercoaster.

And this is precisely what makes life so great.

Don't sit back and ask for a cushy existence to be handed you on a silver platter. While nice for a little while, it would be an empty victory most likely leading to sloth and vice and, ultimately, disappointment.

If you can't go out and take it yourself, you have no business asking for it.

Like Will Smith's character says in The Pursuit of Happiness, "If you want something, go get it. Period."

Fortune Friday: "You're transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed."

Transform is defined as making a thorough or dramatic change in form, appearance, or character. And as the New Year approaches, my mind, like many people, turns to thoughts of rebirth and new beginnings. A chance to start anew. To set a new course. To venture down an exciting, though less familiar and potentially uncomfortable, path.

Specifically physical health and fitness.

In the context of self improvement, the mind, body, and spirit are often compartmentalized. And it seems to make sense. But what if instead of three separate components, they are in fact one in the same? If you think about it:

The mind, without a body and soul, is nothing more than a repository of data.

The body, without the soul or a mind, is just a ghostless machine.

The spirit, without a mind or body, is simply a ghost.

Wrestler, trainer and author Matt Furey eloquently stated:

"The more you conquer your body through physical exercise, the easier it is to conquer anything else in your life...Train the body and you simultaneously train the mind...If you've got the guts to conquer your own body, you've got the guts to conquer any area of your life you so choose...There is greatness and power that comes from ruling your own roost."

In fact, Sir Richard Branson, one of the worlds most successful entrepreneurs, cites daily exercise as his number one key to success. After all, running a profitable business empire takes stamina and energy.

But on a personal level, a healthy fit body becomes the vehicle for actively pursuing life's goals. Singers and actors often refer to their bodies as "their instrument." And instruments play their best when they are well cared for and in tune.

Consider avoiding the cliche of New Years dieting and weight loss, and focus more on transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed.

To your good fortune!

Note: I highly recommend reading Matt's entire article called Conquer Fear Now. It is where I pulled his comments.