Always Bet On Yourself

One of the hardest things we will ever come to grips with is our own innate greatness. What we see when we look in the mirror often seems so average, so normal—because for us, it is. It is hard for us to see something special. I'll use myself as an example. When people compliment me on my artistic abilities it is sometimes hard to bear. Because to me it is not all that special, it is just what I do. It's a part of me. Like my ears or my toes or like breathing.

But here's the thing. It is special. What I can do with a pencil or pen or a computer mouse is pretty freaking great. And that is not out of arrogance. That is out of confidence. I've invested probably over 20,000 hours in my lifetime getting really good at art and design. I've given it my heart and my time, and more than a few times even my sweat and tears.

But I have other interests as well that I now want to explore. Areas where I am not so practiced, where I'm not so confident. I'm even a little afraid of them. But I not going to let fear stop me. These things are important to me. I feel strongly about them. And I am not getting any younger either. I can't afford to wait around for other people to give me permission or tell me I am good enough. I can't sit around and hope for the best, that it will all just "turn out."

Today, I am choosing to bet on myself. To roll the dice and see what happens.

It's going to be a wild ride, but I can't wait to see where it leads.

What are you going to do?

Fortune Friday: "Be adventuresome and try a new look."

We tend to be creatures of habit. We eat at the same five restaurants, wear the same five shirts, hang out with the same five people. Some will say "Yeah, I know what I like." But more often it is we like what we know. Visiting new places, trying new experiences, and meeting new people can be uncomfortable. It's outside our norm.

But habits, if we're not careful, can form ruts. Like grooves carved into record vinyl. If we don't break out once in a while we'll just go round and round and round.

I love today's fortune. Sure, trying a new look could mean buying a plaid shirt instead of your usual solid. Or shaving your head. Or getting that shade of lipstick you don't think you have the guts to pull off. Or anything outside your habitual methods.

But what if it means to look in a new way? To try and see the world through a new lens, a new perspective?

Thought leader Dr. Wayne Dyer is fond of saying, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

How could your world change if you were adventuresome and tried a new look?

To your good fortune!

What If The Opposite Was True?

We live in a orderly and balanced world governed by opposites. Light and dark. Hot and cold. Birth and death. Positive and negative. Everything has its opposite and harmony is maintained.

Well, what if our thoughts, wishes, and desires were the same way?

What if every thought, positive or negative, came attached with an opposite viewpoint, another option? They say that every perceived failure contains the seeds of a future triumph. Likewise, every triumph also contains the seeds of a future downfall. We've seen this play out time again with egotistical athletes, Hollywood superstars, Fortune 500 CEOs, and more.

Think of something, a dream or a big goal, that scares you. Your thoughts might say 'don't go there.' But maybe you should carefully examine its opposite thought. What if what you are scared to try is EXACTLY the very thing you need to do to grow and move your life forward?

Flamboyant and outspoken graphic designer and educator James Victore made this powerful observation:

"At it's best, your life's work should be about DOING something, not worrying about your comfort. If your prime motivation is self preservation, then you are not asking enough out of life or really living true to yourself. You are capable of so much more. DOING takes a leap of faith—believing in yourself and that the work you want to make is important enough to risk... well, everything. Do it. Do it. Do it."

The next time you have a thought that scares or intrigues you, stop and ask: What if the opposite was true?

Fortune Friday: "You will be successful through innovation and determination."

There are basically three areas of knowledge that we have access to.

The first is what we know. This consists of all the information and knowledge we have acquired and stored away in our brains to this present time.

The second is what we don’t know. This consists of all the information and knowledge in the world that exists but that we, personally, as yet have not had access to. This includes libraries, oral traditions, encyclopedias, and most of the Internet.

And the third is everything we don’t know that we don’t know. This consists of those things that nobody knows because they don’t exist yet. For example, no one, not even Picasso, knew Guernica existed until it did. Up until the moments Pablo’s brush moved across the giant canvas, it did not exist. At least not in our world it didn’t. It existed in the ether, waiting to be pulled into this mortal plane.

Our best chance for success comes from this third area. This is where genuine innovation comes from.

If we operate from the first area, we will probably default to whatever comfortable habits and behaviors we are used to. Most likely nothing new or innovative will occur.

If we operate from the second area, we will simply be mimicking what we believe to have worked before by someone else. Sometimes there is merit to copying the successful habits and actions of others. But by its very nature is still limited.

But when we operate from the third area, the true unknown, we tap into an unlimited source of inspiration. We can dream things no one has dreamed before. We can create things no one has created before. Not once, not ever. In this realm lies our best chance for unique greatness.

Which area do you operate from?

To your good fortune!

How Would Others Describe You?

This past weekend me, Jill, and the kids helped move my brother-in-law's family into a rental house, while they are renovating their new home. Between family, neighbors, and friends, more than 20 people showed up to help out.

Immediately it was obvious who was there to help move, who was there to socialize, and who was there just taking up space (and getting in the way). As the day progressed and time passed, one by one the volunteers departed, returning to their Saturday lives.

Of course, being family, we we there for the duration. There were also two neighbors who remained the entire time. They were still moving at full steam, moving boxes, reassembling beds, you name it. After 6 hours of help, they too returned to their homes.

After it was all done and the dust settled, we were sitting around talking about the days events and the generosity of the volunteers, particularly these last two neighbors. We were all a little awestruck by their vigor and willingness to help. Then my brother-in-law said something that really made an impact on me.

He said, referring to one of the two neighbors, "Brett is the single most reliable person I know."

What an amazing compliment. What a great way to be described. To be known as a person that can be counted on to honor his word always. Wow.

It made me stop, perhaps a little uncomfortably, and wonder how others would describe me.

How would others describe you in one sentence?

Fortune Friday: "You will have many friends when you need them."

I have never been the kind to have many friends. I would much rather have quality friends over quantity friends. The few close friends I do have are amazing. They are smart, talented, generous, supportive, and make me laugh regularly.

Above all though, true friends are there for you when you need them. They show up. That alone, for me, is the best litmus test for friendship that I can think of: Are they there for me when I need them?

Because if they aren't then they are not a real friend in my book. They are just an acquaintance. So I think I will re-frame this fortune to say:

"When you need them, your real friends will appear."

To your good fortune!

Send a Thank You

I often reflect on all the people in my life who have helped me or taught me something or made my life better in some way. I wonder where they are now. I wonder what they're doing. I wonder if they will ever know what kind of impact they have made in my life.

Of course they won't unless I tell them.

When I was in 5th grade I had to give an oral report on the Battle of Gettysburg. In front of everyone.

I was terrified. I had been afraid of public speaking for as long as I could remember. I didn't think I could do it.

But Ms. Herring thought I could.

On the day of the report she stood by my side with her arm around my shoulder. I cried and sniffled throughout the whole report. My body shook and my voice cracked, tears running down my face as I recounted Pickett's Charge. When it was over, she hugged me and told me how proud she was. I felt like a million bucks. It is still one of my happiest childhood memories.

But I wasn't cured—not all the way. The fear of public speaking still gripped me to one degree or another all through elementary, middle, and high school. It was toward the end of my first semester as a college freshman when I talked about tackling the beast head on. I wasn't sure if I could do it.

But my friend Leslie thought I could.

Seems she was also similarly afflicted with a fear of public speaking. So we made a pact—kind of a I-will-if-you-will agreement. Together we signed up for Public Speaking as an Arts and Letters elective. We both struggled a lot through that course. But in the end, after much practice and many graded speeches, our confidence grew.

Flash forward 20-plus years. Those of you who know me personally now might be shocked to know that public speaking was ever an issue for me. Many people have commented to me how at ease I seem in front of a group and how easy it seems for me to teach a lesson, deliver a presentation, or facilitate a discussion.

I owe two people a deep heartfelt 'Thank You' for this gift.

So, Ms Herring and Leslie, wherever you are, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Fortune Friday: Empty

At the conclusion of my Chinese food lunch today, I reached for my fortune cookie, eager to read this week's fortune. I ripped open the wrapper, broke open the cookie, and saw...

Nothing.

No paper, no fortune. The cookie was empty.

And I just smiled.

Sometimes it is nice to be reminded that our world is a blank canvas and we are free to create it any way we choose, to write our own fortune.

To your good fortune!

P.S. - Yes, that is a picture of the actual cookie taken with my camera phone. And no, I did not eat the cookie off the table afterwards. Yuck.

The Master Key to Success

This past weekend I traveled to sunny Los Angeles to attend The Prosperous Coach workshop intensive put on by Rich Litvin and Steve Chandler. It was an amazing 3-day workshop among some of the world's best personal and professional coaches. There was so much love, generosity, insight, and energy. People shared amazingly intimate and personal stories about their struggles and successes in life, as well as the coaching profession. I was particularly blessed to have had several intimate conversations with some powerful, sincere, committed individuals. It was a life-altering event.

Often, even a single fresh insight is worth the entire price of admission. By far, my single, biggest takeaway was what I am now (personally) referring to as "The Master Key to Success." And it is beautiful in its simplicity. The key is this:

Living from a committed place. Or more specifically, how you are Be-ing in the world as a byproduct of living from a committed place.

Is this easy to do? Maybe not at first. But with dedication and practice it can be learned. And it starts with making and keeping your word, with complete integrity, to yourself. When you can be 100% true and faithful to your commitments, you build power and self-trust. When you can be trusted with power, inspiration comes knocking. When you are filled with inspiration, you can create your world.

I am convinced that true success in coaching, business, relationships, what have you comes more from who we are and how we show up in the world, than mere mastery of skills, techniques, and attitudes. Don't get me wrong, practical mastery definitely plays an important role, but it is a supporting role. Be-ing is the lead actor.

If I am coming from a truly committed place, I can simply Be in any scenario and the correct words, thoughts, deeds, and inspiration will come to me as needed. I won't have to pre-plan every interaction. I can simply trust in my Be-ing. I can make decisions on the fly. Because the real Me will always act and react in perfect alignment with my true nature and values.

When I learn to live from a committed place, the rest is just details.