We've Moved!

After two years and over 200 posts, I am moving my blog to its new home at:

www.randystuart.com

I hope you'll come join me there. I would love to keep our conversation going.

To the thousands of visitors to this site, I offer my most sincere and humble 'Thank You.' I appreciate so much all of you who have stuck by me and have continued to return week after week. I am truly grateful and consistently blown away.

I pray I have been of useful service to you . It has been my pleasure to inspire, uplift, or help you in whatever small way I could. And I look forward to continuing our journey together.

Much love,
Randy

Blog Milestone: My 200th Post!

Today marks another big milestone on this blog: my 200th post. Achieving this mark has been an internal goal of mine since this blog began.

I am grateful for all I have learned and felt in this year since my 100th post. My wish is that in some way I was able to help, inspire, and uplift. To add light and positivity to the world.

I won't lie, when I first began there was something in my mind that believed two-hundred articles was some kind of magical gateway to credibility. A number that, however arbitrary, signified legitimacy and social proof—at least to me. Two hundred posts meant I was not an amateur or a poser or a flake. It meant I could go the distance, that I could see a project through. I was legit.

But in truth there were times it felt like I was writing simply to keep the streak going; to "not break the chain" as Jerry Seinfeld puts it. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. For a writer, darkening the page—even when it is only with half-hearted words—is good medicine. It's being a pro and doing the work.

And like all artists, we mature and evolve over time. Despite appearances, we are literally not the person we were a year ago, or five, or ten. And in that evolution, something deep inside beckons us to grow again, to crack open the cocoon and fly.

So what does that mean for me and this blog?

My gut and heart and soul are telling me it is time to grow and expand. To go deeper. Perhaps even into other mediums like video or podcasting. Honestly, I'm not quite sure where things will lead. The exact path is not yet clear, but I trust it will reveal itself with each new step so long as I remain true to my inner compass. Faith and action have gotten me this far. I have no reason to doubt it will not continue to serve me and, thereby, you.

Time to lace up the boots, light a torch, and head into the dark forest of the unknown. Are you coming with me?

Come Out Of The Shadows

A lot of aspiring artists and would-be entrepreneurs spend years, even decades, lurking in the shadows, toiling away at their beautiful craft in obscurity and darkness. They hide in their cave, desperate to release their beauty upon the world, yet plagued with doubt and uncertainty, the walls echoing with cries of, "I'm not ready."

How will my work be received? Will I be loved, or will I be a laughing stock? Will I soar like an eagle or fall flat on my face?

My plea to all creators everywhere: Please stop hiding!

You will never be ready. There will never be an idyllic time or setting. Conditions will never be perfect. You might not be able to turn your passion into a career—perhaps ever. But it doesn't matter. We need your gifts, however small.

Stop waiting to be smart enough, expert enough, thin enough, rich enough, credentialed enough.

There is never enough "enough."

Come out of the shadows already. Step into the light, face the sun and run straight at it. Stop playing small. Do it now.

Be willing to be seen. Go public. Invite the world in. Share your gifts. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Welcome the haters and doubters, and quiet them with your generosity.

Avoid suffering the three-headed dragon of misery, shame, and regret. Act now.

Fortune Friday: Comes To A Close

After over two years and nearly a hundred fortunes, Fortune Friday is coming to a close. What started out as a exercise designed to improve my writing skills, Fortune Friday has become something dear to my heart. It has pushed me to get really clear about who I am, what I think, how I feel, and why I am ultimately here in this world.

When I began FF, I gave myself three simple guidelines:

1. Write honestly.

2. No cherry picking. I had to write them as I received them, in order.

3. No repeats. However, I was allowed to open a new cookie if I got a fortune I had already written about. Note: I did repeat once, as an experiment. The same fortune was received roughly one year apart and I thought it would be cool to compare my responses, as well as how my mindset (may) have changed.

That said, it has been a wonderful experience and the results are—at least to me—evident. Nothing will improve your writing skills faster or better than writing. A lot. There are no shortcuts or quick fixes. Just words on a page and plenty of them.

Another positive (possibly the best) side effect is your writing "voice" that will reveal itself over time. Patterns will emerge, from the words you choose to the sentence structures you favor, etc. Things will come into focus artistically.

After a while, you will begin to sound like, well, you—and on a much more consistent basis.

While there are elements of my writing style I recognize in my earlier articles, overall they feel like they were written by someone else. As I am not the same writer I was two years ago, in essence, they were. It is exciting and reassuring to see that change and growth.

Overall, it has been a fun and rewarding experiment which I highly recommend trying. But more important, I hope you enjoyed reading my interpretations and that my words brightened your day—even a little—or moved, inspired, or uplifted you in some way. Thank you again.

To your good fortune!

Nothing To Lose, Everything To Gain

In my teen years I was involved in the martial arts. I studied in a very traditional Okinawan Goju-ryu school in New Jersey. It was glorious. I loved the discipline and the ceremony of it all. My teacher tolerated no backtalk, complaining, or hazing. A wrinkled gi was not tolerated. You were expected to wash and press your uniform prior to each class. Silence, bowing, and kneeling were mandatory. Tardiness was the ultimate display of rudeness and was strictly forbidden.

He was very strict. And if you didn't like it, you were welcome to go elsewhere. He had no shortage of students. Something about the call to excellence drew eager pupils to the door.

That school was worlds apart from so many of the contemporary karate schools that dot the land and bookend mini-malls today. Institutions that tolerate sloppiness, where you address your instructor as "Steve."

But that is a discussion for another time.

At the end of every class, my teacher—as he was like to do—would slowly pace up and down the neat rows of students as we knelt in complete silence. Before dismissing us, he would pose a question and then open up the class for discussion. His questions were always poignant, but one in particular has stayed with me all these years.

He asked, "What is the worst kind of opponent to face?"

We raised our hands—as shouting out was not allowed and always met with reproof—eager to please and impress our beloved sensei. He listened patiently as we rattled off our answers which included things like, "someone with a gun" or "a crazy dude on drugs."

He nodded approvingly, as if taking our responses into consideration, then replied, "No, the worst opponent is someone who has nothing to lose."

When a person has nothing to lose, they are free to gain everything. No course of action is absurd or ridiculous. Every avenue is a viable option. One is so naked they become bullet-proof. In a fight, this level of mental freedom can be very powerful.

This is why the samurai would practice "dying" before going into combat. Die in your mind ahead of time, then you won't have that worry hanging over you on the battlefield.

We have many sacred cows in our lives. Things which, like the irresponsible banking institutions of Wall Street, we deem too big to fail. Our homes and possessions, our income and careers. For others it is their spouse or their relationships—even the dysfunctional ones.

We become so terrified of losing what we have, that we tighten our grip on our personal worlds, closing off the ability to receive something new or even better.

To be clear, I am not saying you need to quit your job or leave your family or sell off your possessions in order to pursue your dreams. Then again, you might.

What I am asking is how would your world change if you truly had nothing to lose?

Fortune Friday: "Do not hesitate to look for help, an extra hand should always be welcomed.

Let's break this fortune down into its two parts.

Part 1: Do not hesitate to look for help.

Trying to succeed purely on your own is not only unnecessarily prideful, it's downright foolish. Practically nothing in the history of the world was created in isolation. Everybody gets help somewhere, whether it be a shared idea, divine inspiration, or a helping hand. Big dreams are built by big groups.

Author and thought leader, Byron Katie says, "You can have anything you want in this world if you are willing to ask a thousand people."

A thousand people. But nobody does that. They ask a few close friends or family members. Maybe even their social media circle or a couple of coworkers. And then they stop, not coming even close to a thousand requests. My mother always told me, "It never hurts to ask. The worst they can say is 'No'." Keep asking. And then ask some more.

Part 2: An extra hand should always be welcomed.

A local religious leader and neighbor of mine once remarked, "Never criticize a volunteer." When someone offers you an extra hand—literally or figuratively—accept it graciously. It's good for them and better for you.

To your good fortune!

The Ten Percent Solution

So many creatives and would-be entrepreneurs are on a seemingly endless quest to create something the world has never seen. And this can be a worthy pursuit. The downside, however, is this can create enormous pressure to deliver, resulting in performance anxiety and often, paradoxically, the opposite result of what we seek. Instead of innovating, we do nothing. The wall looming before us feels too high to get over. So we don't even bother trying.

But do we really need to reinvent the wheel?

My brother-in-law is a commercial real estate developer who works with hundreds of subcontractors every year. He once remarked that, "If I had a sub where the only difference was that he showed up at the time he said he would, I would give him all my business for eternity."

If you've ever sat around waiting for the cable guy to show up "sometime between 10am and 4pm," you can relate.

This led to a discussion about the little differences that make all the difference professionally—and in life. He continued, "Ten percent better or ten percent different, that's really all you need."

Let's say you are a freelance wedding photographer looking to build your business. What are one or two small differences—just ten percent—that would give you an edge and set you apart from your competition?

The most common path is to be ten percent cheaper. But that can be a slippery slope leading to a race to the bottom. After all, there will always be someone who can (and will) do the job for less.

But don't settle there. Get creative, brainstorm. What else could you do to up-level your services?

Could you return calls quicker? Provide chilled bottled water at sittings? Could you be the photographer who meets in person while your competitors prefer to hide out in cyberspace?

I don't know the solution that will work for you, but I do know there is a ten percent solution that will set you at the head of the pack.

Fortune Friday: "The best way to get rid of an enemy is to make him a friend."

"Keep your friends close but your enemies closer." This line, made famous by Michael Corleone in The Godfather Part II, provides a keen insight for improving our art and our lives.

Too often we wage war with the parts of ourselves we do not like. We want to conquer these perceived weaknesses. Blow them to smithereens, wipe them off the face of our earth.

But what if instead of trying to eradicate our flaws, we made friends with them. Accepted them and invited them in. Embraced them, held them close. Just like meeting a new acquaintance, we'll begin to learn about these so-called inadequacies. Soon we'll begin to see the positive aspects of our enemy. In time—as our love and acceptance continues—our foe will soften. It will show its other side. After all, even our most feared enemies are not entirely evil.

One of the enemies of a creative life is fear. We think, "If I wasn't so scared, I'd go for what I want." So what if instead of trying to crush your fears, you invite your fear in for a long talk? Sit with it. Ask it why it's there. Ask it what it is trying to do for you. You might be surprised to find that fear—and a host of other "enemies"—actually has you best interest at heart. It wants to protect you. It doesn't want to see you suffer or get hurt.

Listen to it. Understand its intention. Thank it for caring. Then walk fear to the door and lovingly wave goodbye as it walks away. Sure, it will stop by for a visit from time to time, but instead of begrudging its arrival, you'll greet it like an old friend.

Remember, as long as we make war with ourselves, it is impossible to feel entirely at peace. When we are in unrest, our thinking is muddied and we cut ourselves off from the flow of inspiration that guides our work.

Yes, there are some flaws and weaknesses that truly are hindrances. These should be dealt with appropriately. But with some enemies, the best way to get rid of one is to make him a friend.

To your good fortune!

Is Your Creative House Divided?

In what is now known as the House Divided Speech, Abraham Lincoln stated that, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Although he was referring to the conflict surrounding slavery in the United States at that time, I think his statement holds true today in our personal and creative lives.

Think of yourself as a house. If you are not unified internally, or are having competing thoughts, habits, or priorities, your "house"—and your creative endeavors—will crumble.

The solution is to get clear about what you really truly want. Create a detailed vision for your life. Get laser focused about what you will and won't do moving forward.

Say yes to the dreams in your heart.

And then say no to all distractions and detractors.

Creativity flourishes when our external actions reflect an internal alignment. Unify your house and stand firm.

Fortune Friday: "Nothing in the world is accomplished without passion."

In my younger—and more flexible—teenage years, I enjoyed participating in the martial arts. One Saturday morning I found myself on the dojo floor awaiting my turn in the sparring circle.

I sat mesmerized as I watched a scrappy, five-foot-tall, hundred pound, Hispanic, green belt named Jesse stand toe-to-toe with one of the senior black belts.

As it was, I was sitting next to my teacher. Clearly seeing the look of awe on my face, he was prepared when I asked him what is now an obvious question.

"Sensei, how does he do it?"

His reply was a revelation. He simply said, "All things being equal, the outcome of a fight usually comes down to who wants it more."

My teacher then went on to explain that in most encounters fighters tend to rely on a handful of well-practiced moves. And that raw desire (and the willingness to take a hit), not mere technical ability, was often the determining factor. This reminds me of that famous quote by Bruce Lee when he said, "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times."

My teachers words stuck with me. Probably why now, 30-years later, I can recall them with such clarity. And while passion certainly has its place in the practice of martial arts and sports, it also has incredible usefulness in day-to-day life.

Pretty much everything we want in life can be attained if we want it bad enough. And if there is something we claim to want, but have not yet achieved, the simple truth is we probably don't want it as bad as we say. Which is to say, we haven't taken the necessary actions.

Or at the very least, we are not willing to sacrifice—or admit to—what we think it will cost in order to attain it.

And that's okay too. The important thing is to stop lying to yourself. Want what you want, don't want what you don't want. Either is acceptable. Just be honest.

To your good fortune!

Someday Is A Day Of The Weak

Recently, an acquaintance posted an inspirational meme on social media. The quote—of which many are quite familiar—said, "Someday is not a day of the week." And the meaning is clear: quit putting off those things you claim are important to you.

But in a brilliant reframe, personal and business coach Steve Hardison replied to the post with, "Someday is a day of the WEAK."

This struck a profound chord within me. There is great power in simple truth.

In every exchange—be it our careers or relationships or personal goals—we have the choice to act from a position of power or a position of weakness. We can be an Owner or play the part of Victim. The decision is ours.

Given the choice, why would we ever purposefully opt for the option that doesn't serve us?

Fortune Friday: "Your nurturing instincts will expand to include many people."

The greatest gift we can ever give to another person is a piece of our selves. This gift can take many forms, including our time, our talents, our ideas, or even our resources.

As I grow older, I find myself concerned with my own affairs less and less. My urge for consumption—particularly material possessions—has decreased overall. I'm simply less enthralled by stuff these days. I am more content and grateful for what I already have.

I now find myself compelled to 'spread the love' and 'share the wealth' and regularly pass along freelance design projects to fellow colleagues—especially when a project doesn't light me up creatively. I love recommending people and businesses. Being 'social glue' has its own rewards, more often internal than external. And I am fine with that.

I also find myself being much more generous with my compliments. It feels great to share credit or speak highly of someone. It just feels better to build people up than to tear them down. Not that I was ever intentionally cruel or hurtful, just disinterested and preoccupied.

I never understood the heart's capacity for expansion until the birth of my children. Just when I thought I wasn't capable of loving more, I suddenly discovered a new level of feeling. And from what I understand, these nurturing instincts expand ever more when a person becomes a grandparent.

Hopefully in the future, I will get to experience that next level of love. Until then, I will seek to expand my nurturing extincts to include many people.

To your good fortune!

We Need Your Light

Original photo by Dustin Scarpitti. Quote by me.

A common trait among creatives and would-be entrepreneurs is a feeling of unworthiness. We look at our sketches or novel outline or business idea and think, "What's the point. I can't make a difference. It's all been done before."

We think we have nothing worth saying or at the very least nothing new to add that hasn't already been done before.

And to a degree, this is true.

But that is not what is important. What is important is casting more light on the world, even if our light closely resembles that of someone else.

We all go through a learning curve and we are all at different points on our pathway through life. In the beginning it is okay to lean on the shoulders of others until we are able to stand on our own. It is perfectly fine to reconfigure, regurgitate, and repurpose what you see and hear—so long as you give proper credit where credit is due—until you find your voice.

In college, my design professors encouraged us to copy and mimic our artistic heroes. To grow and learn from them until our style—our personal artistic voice—emerged.

You unique voice can be a light to the world. Our world can feel like a dark, cruel, and unrelenting place sometimes. If we focus on this darkness, it will weigh us down, weaken our resolve to follow our dreams, and, eventually, crush our souls.

Don't let that happen. Don't give in to the noise and the voices that would tell you that what you do won't matter. To paraphrase a line from The Help, you are kind, you are smart, you are important.

We need your art. We need your voice. We need your innovative product and life-changing services. We need (and value) your unique perspective.

We need your light. Shine bright.

Fortune Friday: "A friend asks only for your time not your money."

Time is a finite resource. No matter who we are, we all have the same 24-hours in a day. Rich, poor, famous, obscure, smart, stupid, black, white—it doesn't matter.

Money, on the other hand, is a comparatively infinite resource—although we tend to ascribe it more value that is really has. We see it as all-powerful and difficult to obtain. In western culture, we put money on a pedestal. Certainly, money is a useful tool for day-to-day living and expediting progress, but it is not the be-all, end-all.

By this comparison, our time is actually more valuable than our money. We can always earn more money, but none of us can create more minutes in a day.

When someone, then, asks for our time, they are asking of us our most precious commodity. How we spend our time and who we spend it with should not be taken lightly or treated casually.

When you give a friend "only" your time, you are giving them a gift greater than any sum of mere money.

Your time is priceless. Use it well.

To your good fortune!

How To Improve Your Value In The Marketplace

As a followup to my earlier article about confusing worth with value, I wanted to share a simple formula I learned from supercoach Michael Neill on how to analyze—and thereby increase—your value in the marketplace.

He called it Scope, Scale, and Scarcity.

The formula is easy. Determine where, on a scale of 1 to 10, you rate in each category. Then multiply those numbers times each other. The higher the product, the more likely you are to be well paid.

But first we need to define the terms.

SCOPE refers to the relative impact you have on an individual or industry. Low impact, like flipping burgers, rates a lower score. High impact, like brain surgery—literally a life and death situation—rates a higher score.

SCALE relates to the quantity of people you affect or reach. Fewer people, lower score. Many people, higher score.

SCARCITY describes relative level of uniqueness of what you do. Common, pedestrian, or ubiquitous jobs rate low. Unique or one-of-a-kind jobs rate high. 

Here are some examples:

1. Fast Food Worker

Scope: 1 - impacts people very little
Scale: 3 - helps a fair amount of people each day
Scarcity: 1 - pretty much anyone can do this job

Overall score: 3

2. Brain Surgeon

Scope: 10 - high personal impact; literally saves lives
Scale: 1 - directly helps a small number of people
Scarcity: 8 - not a common job, but not uncommon either

Overall score: 80

3. LeBron James, NBA basketball superstar

Scope: 2 - provides entertainment, but usually not (although possible) life-altering
Scale: 10 - potentially reaching millions of people
Scarcity 10 - There is only one LeBron James

Overall Score: 200

Using the formula, we can see in the examples why some people are well paid and others are not. Note, these overall scores are not a directly-correlating, dollar-for-dollar scale. They merely indicate the relative reason why one person may be compensated more (or less) than another.

If you want to increase your earnings, look for ways to improve your scope, scale, or scarcity. If you want to launch your income into the stratosphere, upgrade all three. 

Fortune Friday: "Listen these next few days to your friends to get answers you seek."

Western society—particularly the United States—has long elevated the status of the so-called self-made man. The idea of the lone ranger combing the fertile plains of opportunity, is a long-held and highly-valued myth; as if to say a person is somehow better for having succeeded without help from anyone.

Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you really dig deep you will find that nothing of consequence in the history of mankind was created alone.

Sure, the idea of the maverick sounds appealing, but logistically it isn't feasible. Our world is too full of interconnecting parts to make a solely solitary endeavor possible.

Everyone depends on everyone. It takes a village, literally.

One of our most valuable sources of assistance is our circle of friends. But friends can be a blessing or a curse.

Good and true friends will encourage you to greatness. They will lift you and hold you to a higher standard. They will often draw out of you what you yourself cannot see. These types of friends can help make all the difference in whether you succeed or fail.

However, bad and weak-minded friends can spell your doom. They will tear you down and mire you in mediocrity. They will seek to ease their guilt or lack of ambition by discouraging you. After all, misery loves company.

Your friends can be a priceless source of inspiration, input, suggestions, or answers to difficult questions. So choose the best friends you can. And if your current friends drain your energy with their constant pessimism or apathy, consider finding new friends.

As Joshua Fields Millburn says, "You can't change the people around you, but you can change the people around you."

To your good fortune!

Confusing Worth With Value

Personal net worth is a common measuring stick for success—or at least how the world typically defines it. And people associate themselves (and their esteem) in parallel with these numbers.

In fact, when people are considering a job position, they often weigh it in terms of what they think they're worth. "I can't believe those jerks only offered me $50,000 per year. I'm worth twice that!"

Sad, but true.

And completely false. Not to mention completely irrelevant.

Worth has nothing to do with it.

Every single person—at the core level—has infinite personal worth. We're not worth millions or even billions. Our worth as individuals is infinite, priceless.

Value, on the other hand, is a different story altogether. Value—the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or usefulness of something—is what we create and share with the world.

When we create and share something that is important or useful to someone, that thing has value. If it solves a problem or resolves an issue a business or individual is facing, it most likely can be exchanged for money.

Renowned British author, speaker, and investor, Richard Koch said:

"Every company is a set of answers to a set of questions, or often, at a more fundamental level, a single answer to a single question."

Substitute 'person' for 'company' and it is easy to analyze how we can increase our value in the marketplace. Simply ask yourself what question(s) your particular skill set is answering. What problems can you fix for others?

Can I increase my ability to answer greater questions (i.e. find solutions to bigger problems) and thereby reap greater rewards? 

Remember, your worth is infinite but your value can be measured.

Fortune Friday: "Perhaps you've been focusing too much on that one thing."

In business, particularly creative freelancing, we are advised to focus. Specialize, pick a niche. Develop your signature look or style. Zero in on your goals and pursue them with laser-like gusto. And it makes good sense. Since we can't possibly please everyone we are better off delighting those who respond to our work.

But too much focus can turn into blinders. Racehorses are fitted with blinders to block their peripheral vision. By eliminating distractions, they are free to channel their attention down the track and ultimately the finish line.

In the context of a closed track, this kind of focus is beneficial.

But in the real world where we are presented with thousands of potential opportunities, this kind of focus can be harmful.

I was once presented with an incredible career opportunity. It was a leadership position with bigger responsibilities and an even bigger paycheck. A real career changer.

It was the big break I had always hoped for, and when they offered it to me I was all in. Like 300% all in. I was committed to the long hours and the added pressures. I was even ready to relocate if asked.

I was totally focused.

And then came delays. Weeks turning into months. Trying to raise capital. Meetings and proposals and phone calls with investors. And a mountain of emails.

But still more delays. Always the well-intended promise of "We're almost there" and "The bankers say two more weeks."

Yet I remained focused.

And I waited. And I waited some more. And some more. A whole year went by. I ignored and passed on other opportunities, ever hopeful this new position would materialize.

But then, I started getting frustrated—and so did my wife. And my friends grew weary of my explanations. I began to feel foolish and berated myself for not taking a stand sooner. I had so wanted this deal to work out that I couldn't see the blinders I had on. I had blocked my peripheral vision. I had closed myself off.

For eighteen long months.

Finally, I took the blinders off. The opportunity cost of continuing to wait had grown too large. And it was cankering my soul. I gave them my notice and walked away.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from off my shoulders and it is was lesson I will not soon forget: Perhaps I had been focusing too much on that one thing.

To your good fortune!

How To Discover Your Life's Purpose In 2 Minutes

Photo by Drew Geraets

By the time you finish this very short article, you will know your life's purpose. Trust me, I'm serious.

There is a lot of confusing talk going around about one's life purpose and where and how to discover it. And there is good reason for this confusion. People are confusing our purpose in life with our mission in life. That may sound like the same thing, but the two are very different. But I will save the life's mission discussion for another time.

Do you really want to know your life's purpose? I'm happy to share it with you. It's really quite simple—because it is the same for everyone.

The purpose of life is to become the best possible version of you that you can.

That's it.

You see, each one of us is unique, different. We have different talents, skills, likes, dislikes. We come from different ideologies, cultures, and geographic locations. We come from big families, small families, and even no families. Combine these variables together and we each—yes, every single person—has a unique contribution or gift to share with the world.

That gift is us. Ourselves. And we should give others the nicest gift we can. Which means developing all aspects of ourselves to their pinnacle. To do otherwise courts misery.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow said, "If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life."

Chances are, if you are feeling unhappy or apathetic, it is because you have settled into a comfortable routine that is not challenging you to grow. You are drifting directionless through your life like a boat without a rudder.

Rise up. Grab the helm and take charge. And as the U.S. Army likes to say, "Be all that you can be."   

Fortune Friday: "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

Last evening, me and my wife attended the awards night for our son's high school football team. While it was wonderful to hear about the team's successful season and the numerous school records broken by several parting senior varsity players, what struck me most was a recurring theme of personal excellence.

And within that theme a phrase was repeated multiple times. Several players and coaches were described as "a man built for others."

A Man Built for Others.

This phrase is the cornerstone of their entire football program. Not simply to develop outstanding athletes and win games—though important—but to turn young boys into contributing, successful men who can influence their communities for good.

To teach them to look beyond themselves. To serve. To be worthwhile.

Worthwhile is defined as worth the time, money, or effort spent; of value or importance.

My son's football program, as well as my son, have invested a great deal of time and effort (and money) into improving the players individually and the team collectively.

But all of that will mean precious little if they focus inward and simply "look out for number one" or try to just "get theirs."

True victory in life is found in seeing past ones' self and ones' problems and instead looking to lift and help others.

To your good fortune!

Curate Your Life

Every museum, as well as major galleries and auction houses, employs a curator to act as custodian of its collections. In addition to cataloging and maintaining existing items, the best curators actively seek out and acquire pieces to augment and improve the overall quality—not to mention monetary value—of the collection.

While value and worth can be subjective, a desirable piece is typically curated for the following reasons:

1. Inherent value. The piece itself, due to its materials (e.g. gold, precious stones, etc.), has monetary value.

2. Significance. The piece is of importance culturally, historically, or geographically.

3. Variety or focus. The piece expands or narrows the scope of the existing collection.

4. Representative. The piece marks a certain era, movement, or trend.

If a desired piece meets these criteria and is within the curator's budget, a purchase is eminent.

Our lives, much like a beautiful museum collection, can be curated. Not by mere acquisition of material items, but by intentional, purposeful selection. In other words, we can build or construct an extraordinary life.

Like the curator, we do it by pursuing things that are valuable and important to us, while simultaneously editing, removing, or replacing what no longer serves us.

For example, we can cultivate wonderful relationships and combine them with memorable experiences—like a walk in the park at sunset. Then add in meaningful work, service, and contribution. And top it off with personal growth and physical vitality. The end result is an amazing, fulfilled life.

And unlike a museum collection, none of these things have to cost a dime.

A great life doesn't just happen. But it can be curated.

Fortune Friday: "You are the mast of every situation"

My guess is this fortune was supposed to say, "You are the master of every situation." Must have been a harried day at the fortune writing shop, given this fortune was also lacking any punctuation.

But as always, I sat with it for a little while and decided this fortune is quite meaningful.

In nautical terms, the mast is the tall upright post or spar on a sailing vessel that supports the sails. It is the primary source of the boat's propulsion. Without a mast to hold up the sails—thereby catching the wind—a ship is "dead in the water."

As we are presented with opportunities or trials, we too become the mast. We decide whether we will metaphorically supports sails of joy or of misery. We get to choose if we will catch the prevailing winds of negativity and pessimism and sail on to the shores of apathy and woe, or turnabout and harness those winds and chart a new course towards a brighter horizon.

We are the mast. We get to choose. But only always.

To your good fortune!

Don't Ask For What You Can't Take

The title of this article comes from a line of dialogue in a cheesy martial arts action movie I watched in my youth. I can't remember the name of the film, or who starred in it, but I remember an Italian mobster villain saying it: "Don't ask for what you can't take."

And for some reason it has stuck with me all these years. Probably because on a core level it is true.

But we try to pretend it isn't.

Instead, we'd prefer to believe somewhere, somehow that someone or something is going to come save us. To come to our rescue and make everything in life okay and comfortable and easy. To give us our dream job or ideal partner or whatever it is we want most.

This is a lie. And we know it.

Real life can be messy and hard and uncomfortable, with many ups and as many—or more—downs. It is a mental, emotional, and physically exhausting rollercoaster.

And this is precisely what makes life so great.

Don't sit back and ask for a cushy existence to be handed you on a silver platter. While nice for a little while, it would be an empty victory most likely leading to sloth and vice and, ultimately, disappointment.

If you can't go out and take it yourself, you have no business asking for it.

Like Will Smith's character says in The Pursuit of Happiness, "If you want something, go get it. Period."

Fortune Friday: "You're transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed."

Transform is defined as making a thorough or dramatic change in form, appearance, or character. And as the New Year approaches, my mind, like many people, turns to thoughts of rebirth and new beginnings. A chance to start anew. To set a new course. To venture down an exciting, though less familiar and potentially uncomfortable, path.

Specifically physical health and fitness.

In the context of self improvement, the mind, body, and spirit are often compartmentalized. And it seems to make sense. But what if instead of three separate components, they are in fact one in the same? If you think about it:

The mind, without a body and soul, is nothing more than a repository of data.

The body, without the soul or a mind, is just a ghostless machine.

The spirit, without a mind or body, is simply a ghost.

Wrestler, trainer and author Matt Furey eloquently stated:

"The more you conquer your body through physical exercise, the easier it is to conquer anything else in your life...Train the body and you simultaneously train the mind...If you've got the guts to conquer your own body, you've got the guts to conquer any area of your life you so choose...There is greatness and power that comes from ruling your own roost."

In fact, Sir Richard Branson, one of the worlds most successful entrepreneurs, cites daily exercise as his number one key to success. After all, running a profitable business empire takes stamina and energy.

But on a personal level, a healthy fit body becomes the vehicle for actively pursuing life's goals. Singers and actors often refer to their bodies as "their instrument." And instruments play their best when they are well cared for and in tune.

Consider avoiding the cliche of New Years dieting and weight loss, and focus more on transforming yourself into someone who is certain to succeed.

To your good fortune!

Note: I highly recommend reading Matt's entire article called Conquer Fear Now. It is where I pulled his comments.