Fortune Friday: "Where one door closes, another will open."

Most of us have heard something similar to this phrase before. Thankfully, today's fortune is more than just a pleasant platitude. It is rooted in hard science.

We live in a world of opposites. Hot and cold, dark and light, hard and soft, straight and curved, good and evil. You get the picture. Where doors are concerned, we also have opposites—open and closed.

A closed door keeps objects from passing through it; an open door allows objects to pass through.

When we find ourselves in a desperate or less-than-desirous situation, it seems as though the doors of opportunity have slammed shut. We feel trapped, unable to pass through. Stuck in a box with no way out.

And it may very well be true.

But much of our situation hinges on which side of the door we are standing.

And also who is doing the closing.

If we are trying to exit a room and someone (or something) else closes the door on us, then we may experience those pangs of despair.

But what if we've just left a room and we are closing the door behind us? Same net result—a closed door and a closed off room—but with an entirely different outcome.

Joseph Campbell famously said, "We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

To often we are the ones refusing to shut the doors that are no longer serving us. Our so-called room—no matter how painful—feels comfortable to us. It is what we know. We are hesitant to leave it. We fear closing the door and blocking our safe retreat.

But the other side of the door is where opportunity lives—where our life is waiting for us.

Trust that when one door closes another will open.

To your good fortune!  

6 Degrees of Why

Most of us are familiar with the concept of six degrees of separation—the theory that any two individuals in the world are linked together by six steps or less.

For example, I am connected to Oprah Winfrey in five steps. Me to Brandon to Steve to Iyanla to Oprah. We'll skip the last names for now.

We can apply this same process to discovering our true motivation for anything we are or are not doing in our lives. Author and speaker, Steve Chandler, calls it the "reason behind the reason."

If we drill down deep enough—six times or so—we can discover our big Why.

Let's say you want a write a novel. Go through the steps:


Why #1: Why do you want to write a novel?
Answer: Because it would be cool to be a published author.

Why #2: Why do you want to be a published author?
Answer: Because it would be great to be recognized for my talents.

Why #3: Why is it important for you to be recognized for your talents?
 Answer: Because most of the time I feel overlooked and ignored.

Why #4: Why do you think you're overlooked and ignored?
 Answer: Because I don't stand up and take credit where it's due.

Why #5: Why don't you take credit for yourself?
Answer: Because you're not supposed to brag.

Why #6: Why do you think it's wrong to brag about yourself?
Answer: Because bragging is selfish.


Try this exercise for yourself. You may find that many of your surface goals are disguising a need for approval or acceptance—which is a fundamental lack of self-love and self-respect. And that often those are things you can give yourself, or that can be addressed directly.

In the example above, this would-be novelist may simply have an unconscious desire to be more self-assured and confident.

Now before all the haters start blasting away, I will say that sometimes we just want something because we want it. Period. For no good reason at all. That's fine too. Sometimes you want to write a novel because you love to write. It's fun to write. Cool. I get it.

Just try to be cognizant of the times you might be unconsciously trying to fool yourself.

And if you think there is something going on beneath the surface, ask yourself why.

At least six times.

Fortune Friday: "Next week, green is a lucky color for you."

The color green has long been associated with rebirth and renewal. The green leaves of summer fade and fall each autumn. The dormant branches of winter give way to the buds of spring. A continuous cycle of growth and decay, expansion and contraction.

But always the promise of life anew.

Where is green showing up in your life—if at all?

Are there some dead branches in your habits or thought patterns that could use some pruning? Could some detritus be cleared away to make way for fresh buds? Could you benefit from the professional help of a master gardener?

Do you have a hobby or activity you've neglected for a while? Do you have an idea for a book or a new business that needs dusting off?

Consider spending some time this week preparing space to welcome green into your life next week. You might just revive something long dormant.

I guarantee it will be beautiful.

To your good fortune!

Would You Pay What You Charge?

Many creative consultants—designers, developers, artists, musicians, writers, life coaches, trainers—advertise premium fees, while simultaneously trying to negotiate for lower rates from other service providers.

Is your logo design worth more than their video editing time?

And why then, are we shocked and irritated when our own customers do the same thing to us?

Sometimes, when a certain skill comes easy to us we undervalue it. Then we transfer that perception onto other experts.

To be clear, I am all for getting the best deal wherever possible. No sense throwing money away unnecessarily.

But when a service or product offers real value, be willing to pay real money for it.

Fortune Friday: "A cheerful message is on its way to you."

When I first read this fortune, I mistakenly thought it said, "A cheerful massage is on its way to you." My first thought was this was pretty racy for a fortune cookie. Then I chuckled out loud in the restaurant. Then multiple sets of eyes stared at me.

I just smiled at them and happily returned to my lunch.

My next thought was, "Maybe that was the cheerful message?"

Cue spooky theme music.

To your good fortune!

Be The Action, Not The Title

Our society often places a inordinately high value on titles—particularly so in business, academia, and politics. Chief this, Senior that, VP of such-and-such.

This preoccupation with titles can get in the way when it comes to doing our work and making our contribution to the world. Because the focus becomes not about the journey but the end result—the idea that we've "arrived."

But the end result is not always within our control. In his classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey introduced the term Circle of Influence. Simply stated, it means to work on those things you have direct influence over, and don't worry about the things you can't control.

Actions over outcomes and titles.

Only time and public opinion will say you are a master, an artist. Instead, be a painter, a draftsman, a sculptor, a dancer.

Be a programmer or a business owner. Let society determine if you are a tech-entrepreneur startup wizard.

Stop chasing the dream of becoming a world-renowned author. Be a writer instead. Write.

When in doubt, follow Neil Gaiman's advice and, "Do what only you can do best. Make good art."

And here's the secret: If you focus on mastering the actions—making good art—for a long enough time, by and by the titles work themselves out.

Fortune Friday: "You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you."

They say that fortune favors the bold—that Fortuna, the goddess of luck, is more likely to help those who take risks or action.

Every circumstance in life presents us with the opportunity to choose our reaction or response. What we see as good or bad is open to interpretation. How we choose to react is up to us. We can decide to view everything—even things we would normally classify as trials or problems or as negative—as a fortunate opportunity.

A chance to shrink or grow. Contract or expand. Flee or fight. Run away or stand firm.

A chance to shine bright or flicker and fade away into darkness.

It is easy when things are going our way. The real test of our mettle is how we respond when life throws us a curveball.

Be bold. Be strong. Be fortunate.

To your good fortune!

Who Are You Writing For?

If you ask a typical business owner or marketer who their customer is they will likely reply, "Everyone." But we instinctively know that can't be true. When you try to be everything to everyone you end up pleasing nobody, because the pathway to the masses is usually paved with mediocrity.

This is even truer for writing. The best writing is personal, intimate. The non-fiction books and articles that appeal to me—that really draw me in and connect on a deeper level—are typically laced with personal stories and anecdotes. Or in the case of fiction, I can feel the authors soul and mind through their words.

So who are you writing for?

I recommend following Kurt Vonnegut's advice and write for one reader. Then speak to that person from your heart as you would in a one-on-one conversation.

Who do I write for?

I don't write for search engines, keywords, rankings, or page views. I don't care about linkbacks or shares or whatever. And that is the honest truth—you won't see any ads, affiliates, or endorsements on this site.

As self-centered as it may sound, I primarily write for myself. To inspire and encourage myself. Life as a creative professional can be daunting, frustrating, and lonely sometimes. It is not always the easiest path to tread—personally or commercially. These articles serve to bolster my resolve.

I also write for and to my two kids. I want to share with them what is in my heart. I want them to know what I think and how I feel. I want them to know my hopes and dreams and fears. I want them to live happy lives full of love and contentment. I want them to be courageous and hopeful—to boldly create the life of their dreams. I want them to avoid the pitfalls of complacency, to not settle. To not be blinded or misled by the worlds definition of success. To, in the words of Lawrence Olivier, "Amaze yourself with your own daring."

I want to show them a better way.

That is why I write this blog. I write it for them.

Who are your writing for?

Fortune Friday: "Try to channel excess energies into rejunvenation."

Self care is often mistaken for selfishness or self indulgence.

But, the greatest gift you can give to your family, loved ones, friends, neighbors, employer, community, and even the world is to become—and be—the best version of yourself possible.

Like they say, wherever you go, there you are. When there is more of "you" in you, there is more of you to spread around. More to give. More to uplift. More to serve and inspire. More to love.

The first rule of lifeguard training is that the lifeguard must protect her own safety above all us. Because an injured or (heaven forbid) dead lifeguard is no good to the person they're trying to help.

Be smart. Take a little time each day and channel your excess energies into rejuvenating and replenishing yourself.

You deserve it. And so do those you care about most.

To your good fortune!