Fortune Friday: "You will succeed in whatever calling you adopt."

They say there is a first time for everything and today is no exception. For the first time in almost a year and a half, I got a duplicate fortune in my lunch today. It is very similar to one I wrote about over a year ago—albeit the wording is slightly different.

That said, I still want to address this topic for a couple reasons. First, I am not the same person (or writer for that matter) as I was a year ago. No one is. Second, I have a newer perspective on what it means to pursue your passion and follow a calling.

A common misconception—especially among those in the personal development realm—is that your life's calling will come to you. That one day you'll be sitting around and the Fates or angels or the Muse will come tapping on your shoulder and reveal to you what your purpose and mission in life is.

In fact, the opposite it true.

Your calling doesn't find you. You find it.

And finding your calling does not have to be some laborious, Outback walkabout, vision quest, high-on-a-mountain-top kind of experience. It can be much, much simpler. You can simply choose your calling—much like you would select your favorite box of cereal in the grocery store isle.

Walk down the isle. See what looks appealing. Grab it, put it in your shopping cart, and take it home. Taste it. Is it delicious? Eat some more! Is it just so-so? Go back to the store and pick another box.

It is really that simple. Sure, the necessary steps for mastery and implementation still follow. In some cases, these steps may take years. And yes, you'll have to ignore the sunk cost of those previous "boxes" that were no good. But selecting a calling it fairly straightforward. You start by choosing. Then you begin the steps to bring it into being. You experiment, collect data and feedback, and then reassess and reformat. Some of your actions will bring you closer—do more of those. Some of your actions will take you further away—pick a new course of action and move forward. Repeat. As often as needed.

Now, you might say to me, "My calling is to be a starter in the NBA." Is this true? Honestly, I don't know. Only you can answer that for you. But what I do know is that each step will take you further down the path towards your calling—or away from it towards something new which IS true for you.

So pick something. Anything. Literally anything. Then follow your internal and external feedback. Move forward, course correct. Move forward, course correct. If you're fortunate you may get it right the first time. For some of you it may take multiple tries. But try anyway.

One final thing: It is possible to have multiple callings in your lifetime.

What worked for you and spoke to you in your twenties may no longer be applicable in your forties. That is totally okay. You will not be the same person then as you are now. I know I'm not. And to be honest, that is a relief. The twenty-something me was kind of clueless and I have no desire to go back. It is also exciting to know that 1, 5, 10, 20 years from now I can adopt still another calling.

Life is a grocery isle with myriad choices. Eat up!

To your good fortune!

Navigate By Negatives

When pursuing goals, most people look for specific, positive markers to let them know they are on the right path. These include sales figures, customer opt-ins, page views, positive email responses, Likes, productive lunch meetings, pounds lost, improved race times, etc. This positive feedback can be critical to the success of their endeavor. Not only is this data helpful, it also encourages them to push forward and move ahead.

But we can also learn to navigate by the presence of negatives. Most goals and projects are met with some degree of opposition, push back, or skepticism. None of this is inherently negative, but simply the nature of the beast. And this seems even more amplified when we embark on doing something big. If you don't believe me, just try it. Come up with any great or potentially world-changing idea and I guarantee the trolls and haters will come pouring out of the woodwork.

And this is a good thing.

Steven Pressfield, author of many books including The War of Art, speaks to the level of Resistance being in direct proportion to presence of importance. The greater the goal, the bigger the Resistance.

So when you find yourself coming up against obstacles and opposition—and you will—you can use these as guideposts to let you know you are on the right track. 

Fortune Friday: "Nothing is so much to be feared as fear."

Ask anyone what is stopping them from pursuing the life of their dreams, or changing careers mid-life, or following a less-conventional path, and they will probably answer 'fear.' Fear has killed more brilliant novels, beautiful paintings, life-altering technologies, and fairytale romances, than war has killed people. Okay, maybe not quite that many, but fear has squashed a great many would-be amazing things.

And I truly believe that. I could literally list off dozens, if not hundreds, of art projects, new business concepts, book ideas, and career alternatives that I never did anything about because I was afraid. Afraid of failing. Afraid of looking stupid. Afraid of being alone. Afraid of going bankrupt. Afraid of ridicule. Afraid of hitting rock bottom and having to start over from scratch.

Fear ruled my world.

I've played my life very safe. In fact, so safe that I've never risked anything substantial. And consequently, I've never won anything substantial either. I've remained cooly in the middle, never failing, but never really winning either. I missed out on or purposely turned down a lot of opportunities and experiences that could have really enriched my life.

Don't get me wrong, I have had a really nice life and I am grateful for a great many things. I've had good jobs, good friends and family, and good memories. Truly.

But good is the enemy of great.

And good just isn't good enough for me anymore. The older I get, the more I want out of life. Not just things or stuff or possessions—although those things are certainly nice—but a higher level of living. I crave more. More quality of life. More personal time to be creative. More flexibility and ability to direct my life as I choose. More fulfillment. More contribution. More doing stuff that matters, that helps the world.

I used to believe that wanting more meant I was ungrateful for what I had. But I don't think that anymore. I want more. No apologies, no explanations. Just more.

There is a strange correlation between fear and aging. It has a polarizing effect. People either grow increasingly fearful and pursue 'safety' (usually through acquiring or stockpiling wealth) to the exclusion of nearly everything, or they grow increasingly carefree and apathetic.

And not apathetic in a I'm-giving-up-on-life sort of way.

But more of a I-am-too-old-and-too-tired-to-care-what-anyone-thinks-anymore.

I have certainly found this to be true. The older I get, the less I care about caring. Faced with the diminishing number of days left in my one, precious life, I have grown more and more impatient with the idea of coasting into mediocre old age. If you are fine with it, God bless. I wish you peace and contentment.

But I want more.

Life is too short to be afraid all the time.

To your good fortune!

Play Small To Win Big

If you listen long enough to the success gurus out there, you'll hear things like "you're not playing big enough" or "you're thinking too small!" And a lot of the time they are right. Small mindedness and inaction are Wonder Twin powers of dream killing.

But sometimes in our effort to "take the world by storm" and "10X" our lives, something anti-productive occurs: Overwhelm. Sometimes we aim so big and so far that the gap between where we are and where we want to be becomes unfathomably large. We set goals so huge they drown our spirit and shut us down. The distance needed to travel feels so big we can't even wrap our heads around it. So we abandon it. We stop. We give up.

And that is assuming, of course, that we even started at all.

Yes, there is a time and a place for thinking big and taking massive action. But if you're not to that place yet it your personal journey, consider approaching your goals and dreams from the opposite direction. Try playing small, or at least smaller.

Jonathan Kozol wisely said, "Choose battles big enough to matter and small enough to win."

Pick goals worthy of your best efforts, but small enough to be attainable. Preferably quickly. Because each successive victory will spur you on—it will give you the energy and enthusiasm to continue moving forward boldly and nobly.

Recently, I went on a camping trip to the Little Sahara Sand Dunes in Utah. The desert views and sunsets were spectacular. The sand was soft and fine—almost like baby powder. But what really caught my attention were these little sand beetle tracks, crisscrossing in all directions. They were everywhere. Some of them went for hundred of yards. These tiny bugs made tremendous journeys one little step at a time.

What if your new mantra was "You're not thinking SMALL enough. You're playing too BIG"? How would your world change from that new perspective? How would that affect your choices and actions? What would you do different?

Give it a try. If it doesn't work, you can always go back to the old way.

Fortune Friday: "Magic time is created when an unconventional person comes to stay."

Unconventional is defined as not based on or conforming to what is generally done or believed. In other words, something considered unconventional operates contrary to the collective, opposite to the group mindset. A convention—a way in which something is usually done—is also used to describe a large meeting or conference for people with similar interests, professions, or agendas. Like Comic-Con or dentist conferences or the Republican National Convention. It is human nature to want to surround ourselves with like-minded people. We love our tribe. They make us feel safe and comfortable.

But the real magic is created when we step into the realm of uncertainty, when we explore new horizons and boldly go where we have not gone before. If we just continue to do as we have always done, we'll get what we've always got. We grow by expanding beyond our comfort zone. And make no mistake, our lives are either in a state of expansion or contraction. We are only progressing or regressing, growing or shrinking. There is no neutral, stale ground. We may think we are the same old us we've always been, but we're fooling ourselves if we believe that.

Real magic—not illusion or deceit or false facade—is created. It is new. It comes into the material world from the formless, from Spirit, from "out of the blue." It is not a rehash of something already in existence. It is not a metaphysical mash-up. Creation, in all its glory, is magical. Like when I step back from a drawing I've just completed and think, "Wow, that is not what I started out to do, but it's better."

Real magic also comes from inside. It is inside each and every one of us. Sometimes it is dormant—often for years or decades—but it is in there. We just need to wake it up. Shake it and arouse it from its slumber. And we do that by being unconventional and stepping out of our daily norm. We need to invite our unconventional selves to stay for a visit, perhaps indefinitely.

Create some magic in your life. Be unconventional. Be you.

To your good fortune!

Spread Your Wings And Fly

Today I'd like to share one of my favorite stories. It really speaks to how I have been feeling inside lately, and always motivates me to expand my vision and horizons—to remember who I am and to always dream bigger. Here goes.

One day a naturalist was driving past a farm when he noticed a baby eagle in the chicken pen, pecking and clucking like a chicken. The naturalist approached the farmer and inquired as to how the baby eagle had come to reside on the farm. The farmer explained that he had found the baby eagle alone and shivering in the cold on the forest ground, its mother nowhere in sight—and that he had decided to take it home and raise it among his other birds.

The naturalist understood the farmer's good intentions, but was concerned for the baby eagle's development. "Would you mind if I tried a little experiment?" asked the naturalist.

"Go right ahead," said the farmer.

The naturalist picked up the baby eagle and climbed up a nearby ladder. He held the bird out and said, "You are an eagle, spread your wings and fly!"

The naturalist released the baby eagle. The bird flapped and fluttered to the ground, and commenced again to peck and cluck. Still determined, the naturalist again scooped up the young bird and climbed to the top of the barn hay loft. He stood near the open doors, held out the bird, and again said, "You are an eagle, spread your wings and fly!"

And once again, the baby eagle flapped and fluttered to the ground, and commenced pecking and clucking.

The naturalist frowned. He turned to the farmer. "Would you permit me one more try?" asked the naturalist.

"Go right ahead," said the farmer, "but that baby eagle thinks it is a chicken now."

The naturalist picked up the young bird, climbed into his truck, and drove to the top of the nearest mountain. He took the bird to the edge of the cliff and held it out to see the valley below and the sun and clouds above. For the third time, the naturalist said, "You are an eagle, spread your wings and fly!"

And with that, the baby eagle soared into the horizon.

*****

Never ever forget who you are. You are not a chicken, meant to peck and cluck your way through life.

You belong among the mountaintops. You are an eagle. Act like one.

Spread your wings and fly.

Fortune Friday: "You think that is a secret, but it never has been one."

As a whole, people, myself included, spend an inordinate amount of time keeping up appearances. We overly concern ourselves with how we look physically for sure, but even more pervasive is how much time and effort we put into sugar-coating and varnishing our personality. We are so desperate for approval or love of our persona. We so badly want to be liked. Seriously, who doesn't? I know I do.

But this desire for acceptance can come at a cost. The amount of effort it takes maintaining our facades can be exhausting. We spend so much time polishing our veneer to the perfect sheen. But while we're busy polishing, we lose out on connecting with those who truly matter. True friends love you because of your faults, not in spite of them.

What if we learned to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are—warts and all? What if we concerned ourselves more we how we thought about us, and less than what our neighbor thinks. What if instead of trying to keep up with the Joneses, we gauged our personal progress against ourselves? Am I a better person today than I was a year ago?

And here's the real secret: that thing you've been hiding from the world—that thing you think makes you not good enough—it's not secret at all. We've all known. For years.

A high school friend of mine agonized for years about publicly coming out of the closet. He dreaded telling his parents. When he finally decided to tell them, he was nervous and apprehensive. After he told them he was gay they replied, "Yeah, so? We've known for years."

So many things we desperately try to hide from the world. We think we have all these flaws that make us weird or unlovable or an outcast. But it is our oddities and our quirks that make us uniquely us. Embrace who you are. Accept and love that you are exactly as you were created to be—whether the world likes it or not. Know in your heart that God does not make mistakes.

Stop hiding. Stop covering. Stop deflecting. What you think is a big secret, probably isn't.

To your good fortune!

The Unexamined Life

Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." This may or not be accurate. But this much I believe is true, that the unlived life is not worth examining.

This quote is not mine. I did not write it. And I have been unable to definitively attribute it to any specific author. But it has always been a favorite of mine. So whoever you are, wherever you are, and whenever you wrote it...thank you!

Fortune Friday: "You will conquer obstacles to achieve success."

Conquer is such an imposing word, usually connoting force and power and aggressiveness. And if obstacles are standing between you and the success you hope to achieve, then some good old-fashioned blunt force trauma would seem the appropriate plan of action. Tear down those walls. Pound those impediments to bits. Break through those pesky hedgerows. Hulk smash!

Makes sense right?

The problem with the storm-the-beachhead assault mentality is that it can become exhausting to maintain. Like Sisyphus rolling the stone up the hill day after day, continually trying to pound away at obstacles get really old, really fast.

So what is a better approach?

Turn it into a game. Make it fun. Gamify it. In fact, conquer comes from the Latin conquirere which means to gain or win. Doesn't that sound a lot more enjoyable than sludging through the proverbial mud trying to beat our obstacles into submission?

I know it does for me. I know myself well enough to know that as soon as something becomes a chore to me, my motivation quickly dissipates. Even if it is something I really want, the minute it begins to feel like a 'have to' instead of a 'want to' my interest starts to wane.

Better (for me at least) to make a game of it. Figure out ways to keep score, to tally points, to keep it light and fun. Throw some mini-rewards in there. Yes, I understand that not all tasks or goals are inherently enjoyable. In fact, some of them downright suck. But it is the way we approach them that can make all the difference. We can bring a higher mindset to the task. We can figure out ways to turn it into a game. The obstacle may not be fun in the standard sense, but it can be fun nonetheless.

When we switch our conquering mentality from overcoming to winning, the path to success becomes a much easier—not to mention pleasurable—road to travel.

To your good fortune!