Why Do You Want A Million Dollars?

If you were to ask the average person how much money in the bank would make their life better, the typical response would be "a million dollars". That is the magical number that has been proffered for years as the gateway to early retirement and care-free living. Given inflation, these days that number is probably closer to two million.

But we're not here to talk financial strategy. We're here to examine the motivation behind the money. Because when we think of money, we're not thinking about literal piles of cash. We all know there isn't a locked vault at the bank with our name on it filled with neat stacks of currency, right? Our bank balances are nothing more than an ordered system of ones and zeroes in a computer.

So what about having a million dollars is so appealing? What is it we are truly after—what is at the source of our pursuit of material wealth?

I think it comes down to two basic things: Ability and security.

ABILITY

We don't really want—unless you're Charles Foster Kane—a roomful of money. What you want is the things and experiences that money can give you. Money is a great medium for the exchange of goods and services and is a lot easier than carrying around chickens or sacks of grain to barter.

But there are many experiences (and things) that can be had for next to no cost, if not free. A long walk in the park might go more towards mending a flagging relationship than a vacation trip to Tahiti.

SECURITY

This is the one that comes up the most, particularly during difficult economic times. We think that if we can build our castle walls high enough, we can keep the dragons at bay—we can be safe. So we desperately try to acquire as many goods and financial reserves as we can.

Sure, a lot of problems can be solved by simply throwing money at them. Sufficient food, shelter and clothing are very real issues for many people. But you don't need a million dollars to fix that.

Security is an illusion. It isn't real.

I could stockpile millions of dollars in my bank account and tomorrow I could be run over by a bus and all my so-called security would be for nothing. Yes, we can safeguard against a lot of things, but total security is a myth. No one is ever completely safe.

For those in the first world, security is less about physical protection and more about internal feelings. We use our bank balance as a mental pacifier to regulate our anxiety and stress. Human beings like to feel in control of their universe. But just watch the evening news and you know how futile that is.

We think we want security, but what we want is capability.

We want to know and feel—deep down in our core—that we have what it takes when the crap comes down. And that feeling of capability is something you can give yourself. In fact, you already have it. It is inside you, it is innate. It is part of your God-given DNA.

The very fact that you are alive and breathing is proof that you have weathered everything this world has thrown at you thus far. You are infinitely more capable and resourceful than you give yourself credit for. And ultimately that is the best form of security you can have.

And you don't need a million dollars to get it.

Fortune Friday: "Tomorrow is a good day for trying something new."

I love tomorrow. Every tomorrow is a new day, bringing with it the promise of a fresh start, a reboot, a do-over, a chance to begin anew.

Because tomorrow is tomorrow, it does not exist yet. So literally anything we do tomorrow will be something new. And for as long as we have a tomorrow, we have a never-ending supply of opportunities to try again.

Today not go so well for you? Tomorrow could turn out better.

Did tomorrow turn out even worse? Tomorrow might turn out better.

Got a little snippy at your partner today? Tomorrow is a chance to begin fresh.

Put off creating in favor of watching reruns? Tomorrow you can start over.

Slept in and skipped the gym this morning? Tomorrow you can attack it again with renewed vigor.

It is so easy to fall into the all-or-none trap—the "well if I can't do it perfectly, I'm not going to do it at all" syndrome. For get all that. Yesterday is done. In the past. Gone. Lost to the ether forever. You can't get it back so just let it go.

Tomorrow is new—a good day to try again.

To your good fortune!

Think Outside Your Box

The path to innovation and success, so we're told, is thinking outside of the box. But which box specifically—where is it exactly and how do we go about thinking outside of it? Might I suggest that you start with that box that sits squarely atop your shoulders.

That's right. The box is not out there in some mythical, hard-to-reach location. The box is you. You are your own box. It is inside you, inside your head.

You need to step outside of it. You need to get out of your own mind—just for a little while.

Observe it objectively from afar. Be your own fly on your own wall. Be curious, ask your box lots of questions like the 4 Questions Byron Katie uses in The Work.

And when you've asked those questions, ask some more. New thinking is best stimulated by asking questions. Because if you already knew the answers you were seeking there would be no need to think about it in the first place.

I know that seems like kind of a "duh" statement. Because it is. But I am constantly amazed how people continually return to their old, finite, existing patterns of thought when they are in search of new answers to new problems.

News flash: You won't find the answers there.

Albert Einstein said it best when he said, "We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them."

If Einstein's statement is true, then we need to access a new or higher level of thinking in order to find the solutions we seek. Aside from asking questions (as we discussed earlier) I would suggest two additional methods for thinking outside of the box.

First, get help. Two heads are better than one, as they say. So go out and enlist the aid of someone whose opinion you trust. Let them ask questions. Observe them observing you observing yourself. Zoom out. Go wide. Open up to the possibility of something never before seen.

Second, be willing to abandon anything and everything you have previously believed in order to create space for something new. Empty your cup, as Bruce Lee would say. Remember, nature abhors a vacuum—it will rush in to fill the void in your mind. What comes flooding in will usually be the answers you are looking for.

Think outside your box. Let go of what you think you know. You just might be amazed and what you find.

Fortune Friday: "Get your mind set... Confidence will lead you on."

Most of us would agree that having the proper mindset is critical to achieving success in this world, however we choose to define it. Sports psychologists talk about being in the "zone" or in the state of "flow." Do an internet search for "positive mental attitude" and you will get 8 million results. In business, athletics, the arts, and life in general, having and maintaining the right mindset is crucial.

Usually we equate mindset with getting our thoughts into the right position or place—to focus. Like when your coach yells at you to "get your head in the game!"

And this approach seems to work—at least for a little while. But often that focus fades when the pressure to perform is gone. Out of sight out of mind. Granted, it is difficult if not impossible to maintain peak levels of "game on" mindset all the time. Our brains need downtime. Too much being "on" and our minds go to mush.

So instead of trying to maintain this elevated state of mind, what if we tried a different approach?

What if we do like the fortune says and get our mind set. One of the definitions for set is to harden into a solid or semisolid state; as in making Jell-O salad, or putting curlers in ones hair, or pouring cement.

What if we hardened our thoughts—made them more resolute and solid and thick? No longer wishy-washy, vague, or subject to mood, whim, or circumstance.

In other words, we made a commitment via decision. A commitment that once made would eliminate our need to repeatedly try and get (back) into the right mindset. We could run on a virtual mindset autopilot—always on, always humming away quietly in the background.

In this state, we would operate from a place of confidence. Perhaps all the time. No more second guessing ourselves. No more beating ourselves up for breaking promises to ourselves...again.

In other words, integrity. And personal integrity begets confidence.

Confidence is a byproduct of commitment.

Set your mind—make a hard-and-fast decision—and confidence will lead you on to the life our your dreams.

To your good fortune!

Become Your Own Sherlock Holmes

In a world preoccupied with trying to find the right answers, we might be better served by taking a step back and asking better questions. Often, the solution we seek is right in front of us—if we would just slow down long enough to recognize it.

The famous literary detective Sherlock Holmes is a master of observation. He is also master investigator, which is the byproduct of asking useful questions. Holmes famously said, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

But merely asking questions is not enough. We must dig deeper and ask the questions behind the questions. Then, we must stand back and observe—as an objective third-party—and analyze the answers to those questions. Then, and only then, after developing an accurate picture of the situation can we devise the appropriate plan of attack.

That said, how are some ways we can use questions to pursue and achieve our life's dreams and ambitions?

For example, if we wanted to grow our business, what would be some useful questions to ask that, if we knew the true answer, would dramatically improve our odds of success?

Here are a few:

Am I spending my time on those activities that will generate and increase sales?
Am I allowing myself to be distracted by non-critical activities, like mindless social media?
Am I making enough sales calls? If not, why not?
Am I connecting with enough of the right people? If not, why not?

If you wanted to improve your physical fitness, what useful questions would help you get closer to your goal?

Am I creating an environment suited to achieving my health goals?
Am I allowing social engagements to derail my healthy eating regimen?
Am I staying up too late watching TV and not getting enough sleep? If so, why?

These types of questions can be equally applied to any worthwhile pursuit, be it an art project, raising children, dealing with a break-up, writing a novel, or whatever.

Something else to consider is that most things we do, or don't do, in life are rooted in motivation. It rarely takes a lot of convincing to get us to do things we actually want to do. We just do them. So when you find yourself not doing something you say you want to, run an internal audit and observe what is going on inside.

And then ask more questions. Go deeper. Observe, investigate, analyze. Become your own Sherlock Holmes; eliminate the impossible and reveal the real truth.

Then form your plan and move forward.

Fortune Friday: "The issue isn't what you're saying; mostly, it's the way."

In my experience, the single biggest drawback to communicating online—whether it be email, tweets, instant messaging, or whatever—is the absence of tone.

Without voice inflection, body language, and other sensory clues, it is often difficult to accurate convey our original intent. It is equally difficult to fully receive a message in the way it was intended.

This is nothing new. We've all experienced these shortcomings, as well as the inevitable tidal wave of follow-ups and clarifications and, sometimes, apologies.

Allow me to share an excerpt from my youth which I am sure you are all familiar.

Irritated Parent: "Don't you use that tone with me young man."

Eye-rolling teenager (me): "What tone?!"

You know what I'm talking about, don't you. How we communicate can often be more important than what we actually say. It would serve all of us well to take a small step back and observe how we speak to others.

Are we loud or soft, biting or kind, quick-tempered or patient, brave or timid? The old saying goes that "how we do one thing is how we do everything." How we communicate just might be reflective of how we live our whole lives.

To your good fortune!

My Way Or The Highway

Ever heard someone say, "It's my way or the highway"? Meaning, you can do as I say or you can hit the bricks. In other words, 'I am so positive I am right, that I am not willing to even entertain the possibility of another alternative.'

Why is that? Why do we often default to such closed-off thinking? Why are we so certain that we have all the answers, such as precludes all other avenues?

We are pretty darn presumptuous if you ask me.

Yes, sometimes we are right and we do have the answer. But more often than not, the 'my way' mentality is a kind of mental shorthand we use to justify our position, authority, or ego. It is something we resort to when we don't have the energy or interest in helping to educate the other person. It's easier to say 'just do it' than to help them see why.

Those of you who read my work regularly know that I am found of wordplay. I like to play around with sentences, phrases, and punctuation. So what if instead we said:

"It's my way or the High Way."

What if instead of automatically reverting to our usual preselected set of options, we opened up to the possibility of something altogether new, something hitherto unknown completely out of the blue?

What if instead of blindly following what we think we know, we paused and listened to the higher self—the High Way—that part of us that always knows? That higher part might not necessarily lead us where we think or where we'd like, but it always leads us right.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from Franz Kafka:

"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will role in ecstasy at your feet."

This week, set aside some time to get quiet. Really quiet. Listen to what your higher self, your High Way, says to you.

You might discover a better way than your way.

Fortune Friday: "A financial investment will yield turns beyond your hopes."

What kinds of investments have you made lately?

I have not made any financial investments recently—at least not in the traditional sense—but I have spent money on some things that I would consider investment-worthy. Some of these include art supplies, lunch meetings, and healthier food items for my current regimen.

Each of these purchases can, and will, generate future dividends. The art supplies will allow me to further develop a side project which I hope to monetize. The lunch meetings have helped solidify some partnerships that could prove beneficial financially down the road. And my health regimen will foster the physical and mental sharpness needed for the long haul that my projects will require.

Not all investments are monetary however. I have also made significant investments of personal time to move these areas along. And time, as they say, is money. I have also invested in some new relationships—reaching out to other designers, bloggers, and potential mentors, either by phone, email, or in person.

I have high hopes that some of these will yield turns beyond my dreams.

I challenge you to take an inventory of your recent investments. Where are you spending your time and money? Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are all these things contributing to the portfolio of your life?

To your good fortune!

Stop Fooling Yourself

Today, April 1st, in the United States we celebrate April Fools Day, a day to perform harmless pranks and jokes on on friends, family, coworkers, etc. But instead of joking around, I'd like to talk about something that concerns me: deception.

Or more aptly termed, self-deception.

We fool ourselves constantly. Like every single day. If you look up the word fool in the dictionary, you will find synonyms like trick, hoax, dupe, mislead, delude, bluff, sucker, bluff, swindle, cheat, defraud, and con. These are not friendly words. These are mean, hurtful acts.

And we do them to ourselves all the time.

How?

We lie to ourselves. We convince ourselves that we don't really want what we want. We write off our dreams and hopes and aspirations as folly—another word closely related to fool. We allow our lizard brain to rationalize security and safety over a life of fulfillment, loving service, and deep contentment. 

It's time to stop fooling ourselves.

It's time to stop cheating ourselves out of our own best selves. It's time to stop deluding ourselves that we are not the strong, powerful, creative individuals we truly are. It's time to stop swindling ourselves and stop ripping ourselves off and stealing away our precious minutes.

It is okay to want what we want. It is okay to say it out loud, to speak it into existence. It is okay to have big ambitions and to work long and hard for what we want. This doesn't have to make us selfish or vain or greedy—unless we let it. Be the creator of your life. As the poem Invictus instructs, be the master of your fate, be the captain of your soul.

The rising tide raises all ships, so the saying goes. Be the tide. Be a powerful, surging wave. When you become strong, you encourage all around you to become strong too.

Want what you want. Admit it. Own it. Share it if you feel like. Just keep the flow of inspiration open by being receptive to your own thoughts. Don't stem the tide by deceiving yourself. When inspiration strikes, welcome it. Don't shut it out. When a new idea comes into your mind, invite it in. Don't slam the door on its face.

It's time to pursue the life you were meant to have.

It's time to stop fooling yourself.