Then Make Your Choice

Arguably one of the funnier exchanges between adversaries in movie history is the classic Battle of Wits in The Princess Bride between the black-clad, swashbuckler Westley and Vizzini, the diminutive criminal mastermind.

After his dizzying display of intellect, during which he attempts to confuse and distract our hero, Vizzini finally chooses a poisoned wine goblet and meets his grisly end.

But what I find interesting, and funny, is all the stalling he does.

Tony Robbins is fond of saying that change does not have to be difficult nor does it need to take a long time—but that real change happens in an instant. It is the preparing to change that takes a long time.

And usually the reason behind the hesitancy to decide is a lack of commitment.

"Failure to commit is the high cost of low living." -Steve Hardison

In fact the word decide comes from the Latin 'to cut off from'. When we make a true decision, there are no other alternatives, no excuses. We cut off all avenues of escape. We remove all options of going back or punking out. And the reward for our bravery is that we have no regrets. Because even when we make a decision that ultimately proves wrong or incorrect, at least we made a choice. We took a stand for something—instead of idly doing nothing, letting life happen to us.

So wherever you are at in what ever circumstance you find yourself, consider what decisions you have been putting off or avoiding and then go and make a choice. You'll be glad you did.

Fortune Friday: "Your present plans are going to succeed."

Success coach and speaker Steve Chandler often speaks about systems, and the importance of installing and utilizing systems to help us achieve what we desire. In fact many thought leaders promote the idea of creating and setting up your environment to help you succeed.

Want to loose weight? Clear out all the junk food from your cupboards. Want to memorize some foreign language vocabulary words? Post sticky notes on your bathroom mirror. In other words, set up your environment to encourage and reinforce your desired behavior.

Chandler states that any observable circumstance is the direct result of a perfect system in play. For example, are you dead broke? Then whatever it is you are doing or not doing in your life (e.g. habits, living situation, relationships, geographic location, cultural norms, education, etc), you are creating, or at the very least contributing to, a perfect, well-oiled machine guaranteed to keep you in poverty.

The same thing is true for the opposite as well. Are you prosperously wealthy? Then aside from inheriting a family fortune or winning the Powerball lottery, you are probably doing those things on a regular basis which contribute to growing money.

So why all this talk about systems? Because their results are usually immediately obvious. There are flawless systems at play in my life that are reflected in my current circumstance. In that sense, my present plans are always going to succeed. Good or bad, they are succeeding because the systems make it so.

So if you want something to change, analyze the system and take steps to modify it.

To your good fortune!

Goals or No Goals?

Much of the success literature of the past fifty years put a strong emphasis on goal setting, goal writing, goal reviewing, and so on. Declare it, list it, check it. You've got to name it to claim it!

Many of the current lifehack gurus espouse a no-goals philosophy; more of a just-move-in-the-right-direction sort of mentality. Some go so far as to claim that the mere vocalizing of your goals diminishes the odds of their being achieved. That the act of sharing it with others gives us the same sense of satisfaction as had we actually achieved it.

So which is the most effective path to getting what you want? The easy answer is whichever method works best for you. But I'd like to consider an alternative to traditional goal setting.

It's called SOP. Standard Operating Procedures.

Made famous by the military, government bureaucracies, and industry, SOPs are defined as "detailed, written instructions to achieve uniformity of the performance of a specific function." In other words, systems are put in place to make sure that what gets done gets done properly each and every time.

Michael Bungay Stanier, author of Do More Great Work and founder of Box of Crayons, a group dedicated to helping organizations excel, gave a great example of SOPs in nature:

"Birds don’t have a long list of to-do’s or rules and procedures on how to fly. They follow two or three key principles, and that allows them to decide the best behaviour. If you imagine one of those big swirling flocks of starlings, they 1. stay as close to the other birds as possible, 2. fly towards to center of the flock, and 3. don’t run into any other bird. These simple rules allow them to become a self-guided, self-governing group."

So perhaps instead of specific goal setting, we should create a Standard Operating Procedure for our life or our career. For example:

1. I will only work with friendly, courteous clients who respect and value my time.
2. I will only work on projects that engage my soul and maximize my core talents.
3. I will only work on projects that are in line with my moral compass.

We start out slow. Over time we begin to do more of what we want to do, and less and less of what we don't. Now some may view this as naive well-wishing. After all, business is war! Success comes from long hours doing work we hate for people we don't care about. Right?

But is that really true? Does it have to be that way? Yes, work does require effort, sometimes major effort. But if it is something you love it doesn't feel so much like "work." I don't know about you, but when I am immersed in a creative project I am excited about, I can joyously work for hours on end. I even forget to eat sometimes. And I like eating. A lot.

Maybe SOPs are the ticket to success. Or maybe they're just for the birds.

Fortune Friday: "The issue isn't what you're saying; mostly, it's the way."

You ever notice how you can say the most insulting, hurtful things to a dog but as long as you use your silly, schmoopsy, goo-goo voice the dog will contentedly wag his tail? We humans are no different.

I remember back when I was in my cranky teenage boy years I would periodically have "discussions" with my parents. Most likely they were full blown arguments, but I don't recall them that way. Or at least not as intense as they probably were.

For some reason, around age 16-17, almost everything irritated me. I'm sure it was a combination of angst, hormones, confusion, and the move towards independence. Bless my parents for being as patient as I now know they most definitely were.

But what I remember most was when my mother would respond to one of my outbursts with the mother of all parental comebacks, "I don't like your tone young man."

To which I, and I think you know where I'm going here, would reply...wait for it...

"What tone?!"

Ah, irony.

There is a good lesson to learn from this week's fortune: Say what you mean, without saying it mean. No one likes to be barked at.

To your good fortune!

Make Time For Quiet

I don't know about you, but as a creative professional I need a certain amount of time alone. Personal time. Quiet time. Time to think, reflect, ponder, and dream. Time to recharge. My best creative ideas come from this space.

Too often we spend our days in overdrive, constantly shaking and re-shaking the snow globe in our minds. We don't give ourselves enough time to let our flurry of thoughts settle.

But if we slow down and let things get quiet, an amazing thing happens...we feel peaceful. Inspiration comes. Because peace, contentment, and joy are our natural state. It is innate. We were born that way. It is only when we allow the noise of life to crowd out the signal do we get disconnected and anxious.

So how do we achieve that natural state?

Step 1: We choose to make time for quiet. Heck, we schedule everything from morning commute time, to meetings, to gym workouts, to when we eat dinner. We can schedule quiet time the same way.

Step 2: Tune out or turn off needless distractions. Even background music. Close your browser. Log off of Facebook. Power down your phone. Lose the adult pacifiers and get present. There is nothing so important that won't still be there an hour from now.

Step 3: Breath deep. Close your eyes if possible. Even 2 minutes doing this at your desk works wonders.

Step 4: Learn to enjoy silence. I am amazed when I see people driving to work at 7:00 a.m. and talking on the phone. Are we that uncomfortable being alone with ourselves that we can't go 15 minutes without a device glued to our ear? And don't even get me started about people using phones at the movie theater.

Silence is the playground of genius. Make time for it.

Fortune Friday: "You will win success in whatever calling you adopt."

Do what you love and the money will follow.

How many times have we heard that or something similar? Success pundits and self-help gurus are fond of linking passion and success. Partially because it is often true. More so because their followers desperately want to believe it.

But how much credence do we give to callings? And how exactly is a calling different than passion, a job, or a career? In an interview for Fast Company, Timothy Butler, business psychologist and co-director of the the MBA career development programs at the Harvard Business School, provides a great definition:

"There are three words that tend to be used interchangeably—and shouldn't be. They are "vocation," "career," and "job." Vocation is the most profound of the three, and it has to do with your calling. It's what you're doing in life that makes a difference for you, that builds meaning for you, that you can look back on in your later years to see the impact you've made on the world. A calling is something you have to listen for. You don't hear it once and then immediately recognize it. You've got to attune yourself to the message."

I love the implication that we can bring meaning to whatever job we choose. Your calling can be reflected in any career path if your core values are addressed and honored.

The dictionary defines adopt as: take up or start to use or follow an idea, method, or course of action. When we consciously choose to adopt a calling, we actively bring meaning and impact to whatever job, task, or project we are involved with. And in that regard, we can win success in whatever calling we adopt.

To your good fortune!

Stop And Smell The Pine Trees

Busy, busy, busy. Seems everyone nowadays is busier than ever. Constantly running around, shuttling kids here and there, tweeting this, posting that. A distracted life that, if we're not careful, can end up resembling what Shakespeare penned, "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

I was almost that selfsame idiot this past weekend during an overnight camp out up American Fork Canyon. Our local Boy Scout troop had decided to go to a favorite campsite appropriately named Butch Cassidy's Hideout. Not because Butch Cassidy ever actually stayed there (to my knowledge), but due to the three-courses-high remains of an ill-fated log cabin. More of a wind break than an actual structure. It is a beautiful locale straight out of an REI catalog, and also where my then 13-year old son broke his elbow while rock climbing. But that is a story for another day.

Friday night we parked, packed our gear up a short 100 yard incline, and set up camp. We ate chili dogs and burnt Jiffy Pop popcorn. The weather was perfect. And except for a slight chill around 4:00 a.m. and the chattering of boys into the wee hours of the night, we had a perfectly blissful time.

Then I became an idiot.

I woke up thinking about all the things I needed to do that Saturday. I thought about freelance projects that were due the next week. I thought about errands and chores and to-dos.

All while rolling up my sleeping bag and stowing my tent. While hauling my gear down the hill to my car—knowing I would need to make two trips and hoping to "get a jump on things" before the others awoke.

I reached the road. And the serene morning quiet, the kind you can only find in the mountains, was shattered by the deafening roar of a jacked-up Ford F-350 Diesel barreling down the canyon. And I thought to myself, dang man what's the hurry?

Then it hit me. I saw it. I was just like the guy in the ridiculous, over-sized truck. Only my roar was inside my head. My deafening thoughts barreling through my synapses.

Instantly my head cleared. I paused and looked up at the stunning rock formations, some still snow-capped, just catching the first glints of morning sunlight. I heard the rushing water of the canyon stream, birds chirping in the trees. I inhaled deeply through my nose and smelled the dew and the pine sap. My mind was no longer busy.

I suddenly had all the time in the world.

Fortune Friday: "If you can shape it in your mind, you will find it in your life."

 To quote Napoleon Hill: "What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve."

If the world ever learned to truly believe this, we would see the end of poverty, hunger, workplace discontent, broken relationships, and a host of other ills. But we don't believe it. We doubt, we hesitate, we second-guess ourselves. We second-guess the other person.

But even worse, we allow ourselves to get distracted. We let petty, mindless diversions intrude on our time for quiet introspection. We get distracted by work, sports brackets, favorite vices, and household chores. We overpower the still small voice of inspiration with pointless TV shows, constant Tweeting and angry music.

The remedy is embracing the quiet. We need to carve out time to reflect. Time to shape and mold our vision for our lives. Dr. Wayne Dyer often says, "You do not attract into your life what you want. You attract what you are."

What are you shaping in your mind? Who are you becoming?

To your good fortune!

Managing Expectations

One of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself as a working professional is learning how to manage client expectations. Because few things cause as much grief, heartache, and lost productivity to your workday as a disappointed client on the rampage.

Disappointment can be defined as expectations unfulfilled. The client thinks it is one way, you think it is another. And often it is the fault of an ill-prepared amateur who either over-promised or under-delivered.

So how do you guard against these potential scenarios? They say the best defense is a good offense. You start by being a pro yourself. Be great at what you do. Be punctual. Deliver what you promise, when you promised it. Communicate terms clearly and give status updates regularly. Nothing incites panic into a client faster than not knowing.

My brother-in-law of jokes with his sales clients by saying, "You can have it cheap, fast, or great. Pick two."

Cheap + Fast = Junk
Fast + Great = Expensive
Great + Cheap = Slow, slow, slow

While most customers would prefer all three, by allowing them to choose the terms of the agreement, you let them manage their own expectations. And if there are ever any discrepancies, you can simply refer them back to (their own) agreement.

This method may not be right for your situation, but if you focus on creating clearer, up-front client agreements and managing expectations you will both be amazed at how much smoother projects will go.