Become Your Own Sherlock Holmes

In a world preoccupied with trying to find the right answers, we might be better served by taking a step back and asking better questions. Often, the solution we seek is right in front of us—if we would just slow down long enough to recognize it.

The famous literary detective Sherlock Holmes is a master of observation. He is also master investigator, which is the byproduct of asking useful questions. Holmes famously said, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

But merely asking questions is not enough. We must dig deeper and ask the questions behind the questions. Then, we must stand back and observe—as an objective third-party—and analyze the answers to those questions. Then, and only then, after developing an accurate picture of the situation can we devise the appropriate plan of attack.

That said, how are some ways we can use questions to pursue and achieve our life's dreams and ambitions?

For example, if we wanted to grow our business, what would be some useful questions to ask that, if we knew the true answer, would dramatically improve our odds of success?

Here are a few:

Am I spending my time on those activities that will generate and increase sales?
Am I allowing myself to be distracted by non-critical activities, like mindless social media?
Am I making enough sales calls? If not, why not?
Am I connecting with enough of the right people? If not, why not?

If you wanted to improve your physical fitness, what useful questions would help you get closer to your goal?

Am I creating an environment suited to achieving my health goals?
Am I allowing social engagements to derail my healthy eating regimen?
Am I staying up too late watching TV and not getting enough sleep? If so, why?

These types of questions can be equally applied to any worthwhile pursuit, be it an art project, raising children, dealing with a break-up, writing a novel, or whatever.

Something else to consider is that most things we do, or don't do, in life are rooted in motivation. It rarely takes a lot of convincing to get us to do things we actually want to do. We just do them. So when you find yourself not doing something you say you want to, run an internal audit and observe what is going on inside.

And then ask more questions. Go deeper. Observe, investigate, analyze. Become your own Sherlock Holmes; eliminate the impossible and reveal the real truth.

Then form your plan and move forward.

Fortune Friday: "The issue isn't what you're saying; mostly, it's the way."

In my experience, the single biggest drawback to communicating online—whether it be email, tweets, instant messaging, or whatever—is the absence of tone.

Without voice inflection, body language, and other sensory clues, it is often difficult to accurate convey our original intent. It is equally difficult to fully receive a message in the way it was intended.

This is nothing new. We've all experienced these shortcomings, as well as the inevitable tidal wave of follow-ups and clarifications and, sometimes, apologies.

Allow me to share an excerpt from my youth which I am sure you are all familiar.

Irritated Parent: "Don't you use that tone with me young man."

Eye-rolling teenager (me): "What tone?!"

You know what I'm talking about, don't you. How we communicate can often be more important than what we actually say. It would serve all of us well to take a small step back and observe how we speak to others.

Are we loud or soft, biting or kind, quick-tempered or patient, brave or timid? The old saying goes that "how we do one thing is how we do everything." How we communicate just might be reflective of how we live our whole lives.

To your good fortune!

My Way Or The Highway

Ever heard someone say, "It's my way or the highway"? Meaning, you can do as I say or you can hit the bricks. In other words, 'I am so positive I am right, that I am not willing to even entertain the possibility of another alternative.'

Why is that? Why do we often default to such closed-off thinking? Why are we so certain that we have all the answers, such as precludes all other avenues?

We are pretty darn presumptuous if you ask me.

Yes, sometimes we are right and we do have the answer. But more often than not, the 'my way' mentality is a kind of mental shorthand we use to justify our position, authority, or ego. It is something we resort to when we don't have the energy or interest in helping to educate the other person. It's easier to say 'just do it' than to help them see why.

Those of you who read my work regularly know that I am found of wordplay. I like to play around with sentences, phrases, and punctuation. So what if instead we said:

"It's my way or the High Way."

What if instead of automatically reverting to our usual preselected set of options, we opened up to the possibility of something altogether new, something hitherto unknown completely out of the blue?

What if instead of blindly following what we think we know, we paused and listened to the higher self—the High Way—that part of us that always knows? That higher part might not necessarily lead us where we think or where we'd like, but it always leads us right.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from Franz Kafka:

"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will role in ecstasy at your feet."

This week, set aside some time to get quiet. Really quiet. Listen to what your higher self, your High Way, says to you.

You might discover a better way than your way.

Fortune Friday: "A financial investment will yield turns beyond your hopes."

What kinds of investments have you made lately?

I have not made any financial investments recently—at least not in the traditional sense—but I have spent money on some things that I would consider investment-worthy. Some of these include art supplies, lunch meetings, and healthier food items for my current regimen.

Each of these purchases can, and will, generate future dividends. The art supplies will allow me to further develop a side project which I hope to monetize. The lunch meetings have helped solidify some partnerships that could prove beneficial financially down the road. And my health regimen will foster the physical and mental sharpness needed for the long haul that my projects will require.

Not all investments are monetary however. I have also made significant investments of personal time to move these areas along. And time, as they say, is money. I have also invested in some new relationships—reaching out to other designers, bloggers, and potential mentors, either by phone, email, or in person.

I have high hopes that some of these will yield turns beyond my dreams.

I challenge you to take an inventory of your recent investments. Where are you spending your time and money? Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are all these things contributing to the portfolio of your life?

To your good fortune!

Stop Fooling Yourself

Today, April 1st, in the United States we celebrate April Fools Day, a day to perform harmless pranks and jokes on on friends, family, coworkers, etc. But instead of joking around, I'd like to talk about something that concerns me: deception.

Or more aptly termed, self-deception.

We fool ourselves constantly. Like every single day. If you look up the word fool in the dictionary, you will find synonyms like trick, hoax, dupe, mislead, delude, bluff, sucker, bluff, swindle, cheat, defraud, and con. These are not friendly words. These are mean, hurtful acts.

And we do them to ourselves all the time.

How?

We lie to ourselves. We convince ourselves that we don't really want what we want. We write off our dreams and hopes and aspirations as folly—another word closely related to fool. We allow our lizard brain to rationalize security and safety over a life of fulfillment, loving service, and deep contentment. 

It's time to stop fooling ourselves.

It's time to stop cheating ourselves out of our own best selves. It's time to stop deluding ourselves that we are not the strong, powerful, creative individuals we truly are. It's time to stop swindling ourselves and stop ripping ourselves off and stealing away our precious minutes.

It is okay to want what we want. It is okay to say it out loud, to speak it into existence. It is okay to have big ambitions and to work long and hard for what we want. This doesn't have to make us selfish or vain or greedy—unless we let it. Be the creator of your life. As the poem Invictus instructs, be the master of your fate, be the captain of your soul.

The rising tide raises all ships, so the saying goes. Be the tide. Be a powerful, surging wave. When you become strong, you encourage all around you to become strong too.

Want what you want. Admit it. Own it. Share it if you feel like. Just keep the flow of inspiration open by being receptive to your own thoughts. Don't stem the tide by deceiving yourself. When inspiration strikes, welcome it. Don't shut it out. When a new idea comes into your mind, invite it in. Don't slam the door on its face.

It's time to pursue the life you were meant to have.

It's time to stop fooling yourself.

Fortune Friday: "Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it."

How open are you to receiving feedback? Be honest. Most people claim to be open to feedback, but in my experience rarely truly are. Asking and receiving are two entirely different things. And really, what is the point of asking if you have no real intention of receiving?

Nowhere have I found this more prevalent than in the art world. I can't begin to count how many times I have been asked my opinion about a piece of artwork only to be fought tooth and nail on every point of critique. These artists were not seeking genuine feedback. They didn't really want a truthful, unbiased opinion. They wanted validation or to have their ego stroked.

And did their work improve? Of course not.

Real advice, real feedback, real opinion is only useful if we are sincerely ready and open to receive—no matter what the outcome—and to implement.

I remember one time an artist approached me for a critique of their portfolio. Having gained much wisdom through experience, I asked, "Do you want my opinion as a friend, or my honest critique as a creative professional?"

After a long pause, they replied, "Opinion as a friend."

We went on to have a pleasant conversation.

I found this exchange refreshing. Here was someone who thought they wanted my input, but was honest enough to admit they were not ready to receive.

And that is perfectly okay. It's okay to admit we just want some feel-good comments. We all need that sometimes. It is natural and human. But let's not confuse this with real feedback.

To be clear, not all feedback is negative. Sometimes it is quite the opposite. And in those instances, we need to shed our false humility and receive all that positive feedback with complete openness. Many people, particularly creative types in general, are not comfortable in the public spotlight. For every fame-driven diva, there are a thousand artistic wall flowers—content to work on perfecting their craft in relative obscurity.

I've also found this to be true in sports, music, and even the business world. It is an odd paradox. We often pursue high levels of success and all its accompanying benefits—wealth, security, prestige—but then reject it the moment it arrives, turning away the very thing we thought we wanted.

We want to be successful—as long as we're left alone. We want to be wealthy—as long as nobody hounds us for money. We want to be wildly creative—as long as nobody says anything bad about our work.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Again, asking and receiving are two entirely different things. Advice and feedback can be powerful tools for growth, but only when we are truly ready and open to receive. If you're not quite ready, be honest and admit it. But when you are, get ready to profit.

To your good fortune!

Don't Give Your Power Away

The movie Heavyweights is a family favorite of ours. It is about a group of overweight teenage boys who go to "fat camp," a summer camp for weight loss, only to discover it has been taken over by a psychotic self-help guru—played perfectly by Ben Stiller—determined to turn their camp experience into a weight loss infomerical. It's a fairly lowbrow popcorn flick, but amusing and with some good quotables. We love it.

There is a scene early on when the kids learn of the switch in management. The former camp directors Harvey and Alice Bushkin, an older couple played by Stiller's real-life parents, stand before an assembly of the boys and the camp staff, and say a tearful goodbye. They explain that due to unfortunate circumstances they had to file for bankruptcy and sell the camp.

As they exit the front of the room, Harvey Bushkin returns to the microphone and says, "One word of advice. Never let anyone sign your checks!"

Where did the Bushkins go wrong? Apparently they gave power of attorney to either their lawyer or their accountant (or both), who then turned around and took advantage of them.

Either way, they gave away their power—and got screwed.

I think there is a good lesson to learn here. Take a good long look at your life, your circumstances, and your relationships. Take a look at your career and your finances and your health.

Where are you giving your power away? Metaphorically, where are you letting others sign your checks?

Are you allowing other people to railroad your hopes and dreams?
Are you allowing selfish employers to dictate your career trajectory?
Are you allowing bad personal habits to derail your fitness objectives?
Are you allowing people with toxic energy into your life?
Are you allowing fear of failure, rejection, or success to sideline your goals?
Are you allowing cultural expectations to define what is acceptable for you?
Are you allowing social media and TV to suck away your valuable time?

Again, who or what are you allowing to sign your checks? Are you feeding them, consciously or unconsciously, by giving them your power?

Then stop it. Just stop it. You and I have only this one precious life.

Enough is enough. Say to them, "No more." Say it to yourself if you're the culprit.

Stop getting screwed. Stop letting the world sign your checks.

Don't give your power away.